The task of healing your heart after a break-up makes most of us want to crawl back under the covers.

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If you’re experiencing the I-can’t-get-out-of-bed heartbreak or the I’ll-never-feel-like-me-again heartache, you’ll know what I’m talking about. But you have to admit there comes a day when you’ve got to take action and take back your power. You must put away the ice cream, wash your tear-stained face, and realize it’s time to come to terms with the hard, cold fact that life must go on sans your pajamas.

Time and therapy can help you understand, but until then, I’ll help you cope. Here are 4 ways to move on while retaining your dignity.

1. Out of sight, out of mind.
Let their face start to fade from memory by severing social media connection. Torturing yourself by cruising their Facebook page, twitter feed, or Instagram account is like rubbing hot sauce in your eyes. Who tortures themselves on purpose? Heartbroken people do. Stop it now.

2. New music, no memories.
Playing the music you experienced together is not only torturous, doing so reinforces that you’re alone now, over and over again. It’s time to discover new music that holds no connection to your ex. Make an upbeat playlist and start to let your mind clear itself of your musical memories together.

3. Inhabit new territory.
Home is where the heart is, and unfortunately yours is broken. Change things up in your living space. Now’s the time to move the furniture around, buy yourself some new sheets, and for your sanity’s sake, throw away or return any forgotten items such as toiletries and clothing. They may not remember their leave behinds, but your heart will and it only prolongs the pain — I promise.

4. Explore your future versus frequenting your recent past.
Seek out a new coffee shop, gym, and grocery store. Running into your ex by accident isn’t fate; it is calculated desperation that leads back to pajamas and ice cream. When we change up our routine, we open the door for new people to arrive. If you’re not ready to meet someone new, I’ll bet you are ready for the pain to subside, so venture outside your box.

Getting over an ex is a complicated, drawn-out process that can’t possibly be wrapped up in a quick to do list, but taking a few actions to protect your heart from self-inflicted pain is self-love and self-love leads to healthy love.

It is said that breaks in the body always heal stronger than they were prior to the injury. Your broken heart is a huge muscle that will love again, I promise.

[Photo is the artwork of  Trevor Haldenby]