Allana Pratt is back with a dose of love for the dating parents of the world. Because in breaking news of little ones, timing is everything. Or is it?
Question:
When is it the right time to bring up the fact that you have a kid by someone else? I really like this girl but I don’t want to scare her off.
Answer:
Perhaps I’m on the bold side of the fence, yet I always tell people I’m dating that I’m a Mom upfront. I’m not interested in anyone who isn’t OK with that; in fact, I prefer someone who appreciates that about me.
Now I won’t introduce them to my son for ages, yet I want them to know I’m a package deal.
From your point of view I get you’re scared that it’s somehow a detriment. What if it was a bonus? What if it was something your perfect mate will love and adore and think is rad about you? What if it’s a selling point of strength for the right woman?
Take a peek if there’s anything you’re ashamed about that you haven’t healed and come to peace with. Are you at rest about the fact that you were married, that you are divorced, or that you had a child out of wedlock, or divorced the mother of your child… whatever the dynamic, can you hold you chin high and your heart open and stand proudly, humbly, magnificently as YOU?
We all have pasts. Some of us alchemize our past experiences into fuel for the present moment, taking strength, courage, patience, perseverance, forgiveness… whatever the lesson was… we take that into the present moment to create an even better future.
Others stay living in the past, still ashamed, guilty, angry, sad, a victim, hiding, playing small.
I say that you are awesome just the way you are. I say that your kid is one of the greatest things about you. I say you are a sweet package deal to the woman who’s right for you.
If you’re having trouble speaking your truth to the woman you’re dating, for help with this and more ways to master the art of being a noble badass… download my complementary report and video series at GetHerToSayYes.com.
If you are a lady in the same position, not sure how/when to tell a man you have a child, I invite you to gain more confidence in the perfection of you and your situation by reading my book HowToBeAndStaySexy.com and for direct advice and inspiration for moms, read my book MissingHandbookToMotherhood.
Lastly, just close your eyes and imagine how good it feels to be dating someone who loves you for being you—your quirks, your strengths, your uniqueness, your child and all…. and now allow that to be your reality.
Great love, Allana xoxooxox
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