in: Dating & Relationships

15 First Date Mistakes to Avoid (No Matter What)

Bryan Belenson

Your love interest agreed to go on a first date with you, the hard part’s over right? Wrong. There are huge no-no’s that can derail this date in an instant.


A first date can literally make or break the potential of a long-term relationship. So if you truly want to make a stellar impression, you need to get the first date right. If you fail to make a positive lasting impression it is incredibly difficult forget how someone originally made you feel, and even more difficult to create a new impression if you don’t get a second chance.

Any initial encounter can be awkward, especially if you don’t know a whole lot about the other person. It’s important to come prepared with a general understanding of what is acceptable and appropriate for the first date, and what isn’t.

1. Don’t neglect your appearance. Even though we prefer people to focus on inner beauty and personality traits rather than the way we look, the truth is, we draw a lot of conclusions about a person within just seven seconds of meeting them solely based on outward appearance. It goes without saying, personal hygiene and a polished outfit is important, but some of us may need a gentle reminder. The way we present ourselves on the outside says a lot about our style, personal preferences and confidence.

2. Avoid excessive complaining and a negative attitude. Nobody really enjoys spending time with those that have nothing nice to say and a poor attitude is sure to ruin the date altogether. Think positive, smile and forgo being critical as it can really leave a sour taste.

3. Be on time. Showing up late is just plain rude. If you run into traffic or an unexpected setback, give your date a call or text so they aren’t just sitting around waiting on you to show up.

4. Keep your nose out of your phone. Constantly checking your mobile device screams disinterest. Be respectful and polite, avoid answering calls or checking your text messages when you should be conversing and getting to know your date a little better.

5. Avoid controversial topics like politics. It’s okay to mention that you really love politics, if you do, but avoid expressing your strong left or right wing opinions on the first date. It can come across as incredibly blunt and possibly offensive if your date is not on the same side of the spectrum.

6. Don’t bring up ex-partners or previously failed relationships. It’s just awkward.

7. Don’t over talk your date. Give them an opportunity to get a few words in too!

8. On the other hand, speak up! Don’t let your date do all the talking.

9. Don’t discuss income or net worth – in fact, limit talk about money altogether. Regardless if you are confident with what’s in your bank account or you live paycheck to paycheck, talking about how much money you make or have is tacky.

10. Don’t use foul language. It’s just not sophisticated, nor classy.

11. Don’t compromise who you are and what you believe to impress your date. If you have a few things in common, that’s great, but if you have differing opinions or preferences, that’s okay. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have chemistry or potential, it just means that you are normal individuals with a unique set of likes and dislikes.

12. Don’t forget your wallet. It’s customary for the person who requested the date to pay for it, but nowadays compromising and discussing how to separate the check isn’t considered all that uncommon.

13. Don’t drink too much. Your date didn’t come on this outing to babysit, and drinking too much puts you at risk for making a fool of yourself. Be conservative and limit yourself to just a couple of drinks.

14. Don’t talk about sex on the first date. Despite what popular culture might suggest, It can be pushy and uncomfortable. It also sends the wrong message.

15. Don’t forget your manners. Be polite and respectful. Give compliments and make your date feel appreciated.

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Going on a first date is an exciting and overwhelming adventure that could very well be the first steps to a long-term relationship. Don’t screw it up by saying the wrong thing or bringing up uncomfortable topics. Make a good first impression by being attentive and engaging, but most importantly – be yourself!

[image: via shutterstock]

About the Author:

Bryan Belenson Bryan Belenson

Bryan Belenson lives in Denver, Colorado. He is a Dating and Relationship specialist for the modern dating world. Whether you’re tired of being single and need help navigating the online dating scene or you’re in a great relationship and you’re trying not to blow it, he can help. He loves jazz, wine and a good conversation. You can learn more about Bryan at BryanBelenson.com or you can visit him on Facebook and Twitter.

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