When I first started dating online, the biggest hurdle was completing my profile; it would have to be decent or it would surely be lost among the 40,000-ish profiles already out there.
Writing, editing, rewriting … and that’s just the content section. The profile photo is a whole other beast.
So I did what any smart woman would do: I asked a man for advice. After all, a man would be viewing it … or at least I hoped a man would be viewing it. After I had many discussions with many men I polled women. My conclusions? Some things apply to anyone seeking a love interest online. Even better, there are a few simple things you can do to quickly turn your profile from ‘meh’ to ‘yay.’
Quick Fix Tips:
1. Embrace online dating and view it as an adventure.
So many of us are horrified at the notion of online dating. Our profiles open with lines like, “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” or “It’s gotten to this point.” But is it so bad? My aunt set me up once—and she’s a nun. Now that’s horrifying! Think about what message those opening lines send about you. Not to mention, consider how you’re inadvertently judging all the other would-be dates. Online dating is a tool that allows us to meet people we never would be able to meet without it. Be excited to fully engage in a new community. Forward march!
2. Turn your negatives into positives!
Reread your profile and turn “don’t want” into “want.” Make “I don’t like” into “I like.” And switch the “I won’t/I can’t” into “I will/I can.” Reframing your language in affirming statements implies that you invite the joy and happiness of life, rather than shy away from it. We all sound so much more pleasant, lighter, and more fun when we speak from a happy place.
3. Fill in the blanks.
We’ve all skipped parts of our profiles with the intention of coming back to “that section.” Well, get on back to it—now. By showcasing a thorough profile, you send a message to the world you’re ready and serious about taking the online dating plunge.
4. Delete clichéd phrases.
We’re all nice, smart, fun people because we’re all human beings. Go ahead and strike those overused words and phases from your profile as they make you blend into the background. Find unique, powerful language that embodies you and your brilliant personality.
5. Remove all selfies, group photos, and photos that aren’t you.
It’s best to have fewer photos than to use these as placeholders. It is a rare person that can create a selfie that doesn’t look like a selfie. Photos with others—whether they are friends, family members, and especially members of the opposite sex—are distracting and take the spotlight off of you. And as much as you adore your cats, your mountain view, or your motorcycle, let’s keep it all about you as no one wants to date your cat … or your view … or your motorcycle.
If you assign each one of these items to a 5-minute break in your day starting on Monday, by Friday happy hour you’ll have a new profile ready for the weekend.
A few quick fixes could open you up to a date around the corner, or around the world. I ended up with a husband who lived only eight blocks away from me. Instead of passing each other on the street, we found each other online. Strange? Maybe. Happily ever after? Definitely!
So the next time you have five extra minutes, skip the Facebook post and hop onto your online dating profile. Your next adventure may just be a click away.[photo: via torbakhopper on flickr]
Amy Angelilli married the love of her life on the anniversary of their first communication on a dating website. Now that she’s no longer busy online dating, she has more time for other projects. Her latest creation is The Adventure Project, which offers relationship, travel and life adventures for the Every Person. One of her favorite adventures is the theater experience she created and produced 3 Blind Dates—Denver’s only unscripted romantic comedy that showcases the phenomenon of modern dating. Follow her or 3 Blind Dates on Twitter or visit The Adventure Project to read her essays about mindful living.