in: Wellness

6 Holistic Tools for Dealing with Dating Stress & Anxiety

The world is a wild, beautiful, and crazy place—there’s no shame in getting help with the crazy part. Start with these holistic tools for dating stress.

We have been coming of age in the wellness department for as long as there have been practitioners being credentialed in the field of holistic healing. It is now a major part of our western medicine and culture to be integrated into how holistic tools can be a vital factor in our overall health and well being.

The guesswork is in the choices—which works best for what and whom, and how it can be of benefit where the easing of stress and anxiety in any situation (even dating!) are dealt with head on.

Both of these emotions or “conditions” need to be addressed in such a way as to remain gentle with ourselves, compassionate with our capacities for work, and love, and having enough courage to admit there is a way to alleviate any setbacks.

These are my favorites:


Any healing modality that includes water is one of the most serene. No matter the time of year, hot baths and steam baths are two essentials to be included in our holistic tool box.

Taking a dip in the ocean—or a full-fledged swim in a major body of water—is also a big winner in the therapeutic effects of helping stress or anxiety. Once submersion occurs, there is an instantaneous feeling of returning to the safety of the womb. It is a natural occurrence to have that feeling rise up, and within the realm of suspension in water, the body’s response eases with the flow.

This is an excellent practice to include in your pre-date ritual—find yourself more centered and at ease on any dating adventure by draping yourself in water before draping yourself in clothes.


Lavender, rosemary, mint, any citrus, sage, basil—these are the essential oil remedies for handling overwhelm and stress. All scents are based on the ayurvedic principle that applying small doses on certain “hot zones” of the body (temples, back of the neck, wrists, upper chest) will do wonders in creating more tranquility and peace. 

Setting up a small scent diffuser in the bathroom or other peaceful space in the home with the any one of the above aromatic oils is an excellent practice in opening the mind. Taking deep inhalations, you’ll infuse the chakras with proper balance and care, waving potential anxiety or panic “goodbye.” 

Be sure to use your diffuser as you prepare your soulmate list, create your online profile, or prepare for your next romantic rendezvous; plus, dabbing essential oils on one of those “hot zones” is a great way to take your tranquility with you on your next date.


Finding a qualified professional who specializes in this profound method of stress-reduction is the answer to your prayers for the long haul. The light needles inserted gently into the skin, with a pulsing sensation thereafter, is one of the most popular antidotes to dealing with an overworked brain and body.

You might not feel the immediate response to each session; however, with continued weekly visits (depending on the severity of the stress or muscular tension) you will feel remarkably better, peaceful, and inflammation-free.

This is a great option for those of us who are working on overcoming social anxieties associated with meeting or conversing with new people—an important toolset for proper dating.


Taking care of ourselves first—before we can take care of others—has to include rubbing and kneading certain areas of the body that accumulate tension and worry. It’s not always convenient to make a visit to a massage therapist when stress strikes, so why not treat yourself with your own two hands tenderly massaging the areas that feel plagued? This can include the feet, the thighs, the temples of the head, the back of the neck, and often the upper-shoulder area.

If your hands aren’t enough, there are also some items you can purchase that dig right into pressure points and give you that “aahh” relief. Even a generic soft tennis ball can be a powerful tool to use for generating self-massage. Sitting on it and rolling around, especially if areas of the buttocks and hips tend to be the specific places where stress builds up, is an amazing and simple method of self-care. The main thing to remember is you know your own body better than anyone. If something is tense and knotted up, use your hands and deep breaths to dig into those sore places and ease the tension.

We can’t show up as our most authentic selves with chronic strain or worry embedded in our muscles. Do yourself (and your date) a favor and prioritize happy, healthy, supple muscles. As a bonus, the practice might come in handy on your partner some day, too.  

Meditation & Yoga

Enough can’t be said about these two powerful and popular practices for minimizing stress and anxiety. They can work in harmony with each other and be the signature way to start each and every day.

Once deep into either practice—whether through a class or on your own—all cells of the body respond so well you will wonder how you had anxiety in the first place. Start with a few minutes of each, and build up from there.

I tend to meditate before and after each yoga session. I do my own practice, always mixing it up with several modalities, ending with gratitude and breathing exercises, and my entire day is off to a great start. If early morning isn’t your cup of tea, try right before bedtime, or mid-afternoon to break up the day. Nothing strenuous with the yoga postures, more of a wind down mentality. Meditating before bedtime has also been a wonderful way to help insomniacs with their sleep cycle.

These two mindfulness practices are transformative on so many levels. Watch your relationship to dating—and the outside world in its entirety—shift as you find your happy place, that calm center deep within.

Adult Coloring Books

This is the new trend in stress-busting. The difference in children’s coloring books and adult coloring books is the level of details in the designs. Mandala, paisley, intricate artful, and crafty designs shift your brain into getting lost in the moment and not worrying about other worrisome details of life. Plus it’s so much fun to witness the artistic creation that is the result of playing with crayons or colored markers (and sometimes, paint). 

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with online dating, pull out your rainbow of makers and take a mental break. You’ll return feeling calmer and more capable of navigating the prospects.

Try any one of the above holistic tools, or add one into your repertoire whenever the stress of dating (or of life in general) gets to be too much. You can mix and match; you can eliminate what feels not-so-good and keep the rest. They all have something wonderful to offer. Your body, mind, and spirit will be ever so thankful that you took the time for your health before you offered your heart to the world.

About the Author:

Gerry Ellen

Gerry Ellen is an author, creative storyteller, and wellness advocate. She enjoys sharing her experiences of life, love, and all things meaningful and healthy through words and images. She is a regular contributor to MeetMindful, Be You Media Group, Tattooed Buddha, and Rebelle Society. As a former featured columnist on elephant journal and Light Workers World, she considers her love of nature and the outdoors, heart-centered connections, friends and family, and traveling to explore and expand as the epicenter of her world. She is extremely driven with her service work through 8 Paws Wellness with her dog, Scout. Gerry Ellen has authored and published two books, Ripple Effects (March 2012) and A Big Piece of Driftwood (April 2014), which are both available on


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