in: Dating & Relationships

How to Prepare Yourself for the Perfect Relationship

The perfect relationship begins long before you’ve met that special someone. Take these seven suggestions to heart and begin working on you.


Before you can find that perfect someone, you have to feel prepared to find him or her. So many people enter into relationships only to find that they are dating the wrong person. This often happens because we make some pivotal mistakes when we are single and seeking a romantic relationship.

If you are looking for the perfectrelationship—one that makes you feel like a better person, challenges you to look at some of your shortcomings and brings out your best—the first place you have to look for that special someone is within. 

It is so common for both men and women to seek relationships that arent good for them because they arent sure of what they need. If you cant feel confident in who you are and in your singleness, you arent going to feel secure in a relationship with someone else either. 

The following are some tips to help prepare yourself to find that special someone. Remember, the better you feel about who you are, the better someone else is going to feel about you, too.

1. Take time to really figure yourself out.

Think about who you are, not who you want to be. Think about what it is that you need, not what someone else may need. Spend time alone and feel good about it.

2. Strengthen your friendships, build on interests, and create a good support system.

So often I see folks get into relationships and go all in. They throw aside their own interests, friends and needs to be with someone. When this happens, the relationship eventually crumbles. Having a sense of individuality is important in even the strongest relationships. Make sure you build your life for you, not for finding someone else. If you build a life for you, that someone else will come and ideally, fit right in.

3. Know what you are looking for, and what you are not.

Think about what is most important to you. Pick a few things that absolutely important to you to find in a partner, or a few things that are absolutely important not to find in a partner. If you find someone that meets a few integral criteria, you can let go of the rest and compromise on things that arent as vital.

4. Date!

Practice truly can make perfect. When you are preparing for an interview, you probably practice—either with yourself or with a good friend. Dating casually can help in the same way. Learn what settings you feel most yourself in, and what settings make you feel uncomfortable. Learn more about what types of people you are drawn to and what types youd like to avoid. Get out there! Breathe. Enjoy.

5. Be you.

When you are putting yourself out there to meet that special someone, put yourself out there. Dont sugar coat. Be who you are and seek others who do the same. Save yourself some grief of being with someone who doesnt love you for you, or who you dont love for them. Be true to who you are and show up as yourself. You may find a relationship by being someone else, but it certainly wont be the relationship that lasts.

6. Dont settle.

You deserve to be with someone who loves you for you. You deserve to be with someone that makes you feel good about yourself, and who you like being with! Dont settle for anything less. Life is too short. Enjoy it. If you meet someone that doesnt feel great to you, move on. Their truly are many, many types of fish in the sea—you deserve the one that is best for you.

7. Remember that ‘perfectmay not always seem so.

Your happily ever aftermay indeed come, but it probably wont always be so happy. Thats OK. Relationships require a lot of work and attention. Those couples that work toward staying together, communicating, being honest and trying to maintain a strong relationship usually are the ones that go the distance. If you are looking for the perfectrelationship that doesnt include any hardships, youre going to be looking for quite a long time.

[image: via Sean McGrath on flickr]

About the Author:

Julie Gladnick

Julie Gladnick is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in the Highlands neighborhood of Denver. Originally from the East coast, Julie attended graduate school at John F. Kennedy University in Berkeley and earned her license in California before relocating to Denver in 2011. Julie focuses her practice on working with men, women and couples struggling with self-esteem, relationship issues, body image, eating disorders and pre- and postnatal challenges. Her background includes: working with clients in intensive outpatient and residential dual diagnosis treatment programs; children and their families of trauma in community and school-based programs; and men, women and couples struggling with life transitions, anxiety, depression and relationship challenges in private practice. Julie lives in Denver with her husband and two children, and enjoys jogging, hiking, skiing and the beautiful great outdoors of Colorado. To learn more about Julie’s work or to connect with her, you can visit her site, JulieGladnick.com

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