Manifesting your soulmate stems from finding a healthy balance between intending and allowing; between doing and being.

---

What does it take to manifest the love of your life?

I’ve heard from first-time brides (at 49+), busy entrepreneurs with 80-hour work weeks, as well as divorcees and widowers who were convinced that the opportunity for true love had long passed them by.

Whether these soulmate success stories come from Russia, Ireland, Spain, South Korea, Nova Scotia, Poland, Iran, Slovenia, Austria, Germany, Norway, or the good ol’ U.S. of A., a common theme emerges: Those who have successfully manifested their soulmates did so by finding a healthy balance between intending and allowing; between doing and being.

Remaining Open to Possibilities

These successful individuals did the necessary work—like making soulmate lists and cleaning up emotional baggage that lingered from past relationships, making space for their beloved’s presence in every area of their lives.

But they also cultivated a state of what the Buddhists call “Beginner’s Mind.” They carried out manifestation exercises and rituals with an attitude of openness, eagerness and an absence of preconceptions. Even if their hearts were still aching from a past breakup or their present circumstances were less-than ideal, they didn’t allow themselves to fall into the common trap of thinking that they’d already done and tried everything, that nothing new would work for them. They stayed open to the possibilities and remained hopeful, not defeated.

[NOTE: when you’re open to the possibility of love, try MeetMindful for free today—the fastest growing dating site for conscious singles.]

Occasionally I receive stories from from men and women who do feel defeated, frustrated because they’ve been actively searching for their soulmates without success. The common thread goes something like this: “I’ve watched The Secret, I’ve made my list of qualities I want. It’s been almost a year and he/she still hasn’t shown up!”

The energetic signal sent through these messages practically jumps off the page and, let’s just say, it’s not one of irresistible attraction, is it?

Becoming a Successful Manifestor

Whether you want to manifest love, money, a new career or a parking space, becoming a successful manifestor requires a certain level of emotional maturity. Great manifestors have learned the art of managing their thoughts and emotions so that even when doubt, fear or other limiting feelings pop up, they are not swept into a spiral of negativity. Developing this kind of mental discipline requires us to make a deliberate choice to focus our attention on what we desire rather than on what we don’t want.

For example, whenever I catch myself dwelling in a negative or unpleasant thought or feeling, I say to myself “cancel-cancel,” and I then intentionally create a new vision for myself. Sometimes this simple shift in perception is all I need, other times I reach into my toolkit of emotional release techniques and dedicate five or ten minutes to work through my mini-issue so that my creative energies stay aligned with the outcome I desire.

As someone consciously focused on manifesting your soulmate, you, too, must recognize the powerful influence your thoughts and feelings have and do your best to keep them positive.

The process of magnetizing your soulmate can become discouraging at times; but if you approach it from the mindset of “it’s been a year and it still hasn’t happened,” you’re dwelling on what’s missing. The universe simply can’t add more love to your life when you’re focused on the love you don’t have. Like the tale of the farmer pulling up the newly planted seed to search for evidence of growth, the very act of “searching” evokes a feeling of desperation that blocks the natural flow of love.

But if you shift your focus to magnetizing your soulmate rather than “looking” for him or her; and if you can adjust your emotional state from impatience to savoring the waiting, love will blossom in its own time, in colors and fragrances that will surprise and delight you.

Those who successfully manifest love have surrendered to the fact that it’s not our job to know where or how our soulmate will appear. We don’t have to micromanage every encounter or anticipate every detail. Our job is to simply prepare ourselves in body, mind and soul, then relax into the knowledge that the one we’ve asked for—wherever he or she may be at this moment—is on the way. Your soulmate is on the way to you from wherever he or she is right now. The details are not yours to coordinate.

Your job is to love yourself, enjoy your life as it unfolds in each moment, hold a clear intention of the love you are manifesting and have faith in the unseen forces that are (even now) guiding the fulfillment of your dream.

[image: via Ryan Smith Photography on flickr]