in: Dating & Relationships

Can Fitness Save Your Relationship?

Natasha Miles explores how focusing on fitness and exercise could revitalize your relationship. She encourages healthy habits in the gym…and the bedroom.


I’ve got a secret to tell you, and while it’s not pretty and may seem a little strange, it’s the truth. This amazing secret? Relationships and fitness go hand in hand. They are both hard work but well worth it. Any romantic relationship that is worth something is always going to be hard work. Just like getting in shape and becoming healthier require time and effort. I believe that if we approach our relationships the same way we approach our fitness, the relationships could be improved.

There are many things that can cause a relationship to lose its sparkle. In the beginning things are great, there is a “new relationship smell” in the air. The birds are singing and the sun is always shining. You are so amazed by this shiny, new addition to your world. Then life gets messy. For my married people we know how life can change really fast. The newness starts to wear off once we get settled into being married. The bills start to come in, then suddenly, babies are brought into the equation and these little people don’t care that mommy and daddy need “alone time.” Personal alone time includes the peace of going to the bathroom. Sounds romantic!

For those of you dating, the new relationship gets a little dry when you’ve gone to the same restaurant three times in a row, you start to pick out those little quirks that aren’t as charming as you remember, you start to feel bored with the relationship and that new shiny addition isn’t so interesting anymore. In the beginning of the dating phase the goal is to learn about the other person because they are interesting and charming.  We can feel self conscious and worried when the “newness” wears off because you have to get down to the core of your partner and show your own core in return. A mutual fitness adventure can make the journey to the core much smoother.

When people have been in a long term relationship and things start to get stale, they often look for ways to spice things up. Some people turn to social clubs, others read books or visit specialists for advice.  Fitness could be the activity that shows you more about yourself and your partner than any book or knitting circle.

Let’s face it. No one is perfect and we all have a body part(s) that we would love to improve. No one is alone in the battle of the bulge. We all have a desire to understand and sometimes rediscover our partner so that we can get some of that old magic back. Fitness may be the aerobic kick in the butt your relationship needs. Don’t take the “New Year’s Eve” approach to this idea. You know who I’m talking about. The folks that join whatever the latest craze is without even knowing what the heck it is. Those are the same people who are consistent and motivated for the first two months and then never set foot in the gym again. I’m wearing a guilty expression because I have been one of these people.

Sit down with your partner and have a real discussion with no phone, television or distractions. Talk about what you both see physically that you want to change and then honestly discuss the things that would keep you from making these changes. Research together what kind of programs you would be interested in. There are many trainers that do couples fitness. You don’t have to join the most expensive gym or have the latest gear. Go in and talk with a trainer about what you want to do at home and they can help lead you in the right direction. Contact me and I will give you a few pointers (free).

Embarking on a fitness journey together forces both people to communicate, be supportive, strong, and weak. Mutual vulnerability is an excellent way to reach a relationship breakthrough.

So instead of going to the library and checking out all 156 relationship advice books, sit down and have a chat with your loved one about getting fit. That shiny, new, love-buzz feeling will be back before you know it. And yes, sex counts as part of your fitness plan. 

[image via Dave Rosenblum on flickr]

About the Author:

Natasha Miles

Natasha Miles is an ACSM certified personal trainer who graduated from Middle Tennessee State University with a degree in Exercise Science. She has been happily in love with her husband for 10 crazy, amazing, good and not-so-good years. They have three beautiful daughters. Natasha started her fitness business, Transformazing Fitness, in order to reach people where they are and help them reach their goals physically and spiritually. She follows the motto "Change your mindset, change your life." Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, as well as her website.

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