When Lisa Foreman saw the phrase “conscious love” pop up again and again, she questioned what the phrase could possibly mean. Here’s what she came up with.
—This article was originally published by our friends at elephant journal; we’re republishing (with permission!) because we love it… and them. Enjoy.—
I have skipped over this ad in more articles than I care to count, but a friend reading my article asked me to define “conscious love.”
After determining he did not think it was something I wrote, I blathered some explanation that may have made some sense, but his question got me thinking about what it really does mean. As an elephant journal columnist, I should know what our partners’ ads mean, right?
Conscious love sounds different.
Relationships, including marriages and long-term commitments, fail all the time, but we keep trying to plug into the same formula. We perpetuate this by modeling it for our children, causing them pain—not out of cruelty, but tradition, and habit. This is the way things have always been done, dammit!
I see memes constantly on social media touting the idea that we are complete on our own, but I am still surrounded by friends and coaching clients who are looking for that someone who will “make them happy” and soothe all the pain inside them.
Where love is concerned, there is a disconnect between logic and emotion.
In my search for a definition for conscious love, I decided to Google the phrase, and surprisingly came up with very little.
Then I found it! The article that captured my attention and communicated clearly where I am in my belief about loving relationships. Instead of being committed to a relationship no matter the cost, each person should have a commitment to growth as an individual, as a couple, as a community. We are a wonderful addition to another’s life, but not the foundation on which it is built.
Growth is the goal, and much of what we have been taught to want in relationships is in direct opposition. All the roles we expect each other to play. All the repression of our true selves to “keep” someone. All the dumbing down of our dreams and lessons to fit the idea of a couple as one unit without separation.
If the traditional pattern isn’t working, what does promote growth?
Know who you are and who you want to be—not for others, but following your soul’s desire. I think of this concept as internal, although it certainly manifests externally. As part of a couple, we may find this helps us set boundaries and find joy as we come together as real people, and not roles we play.
Follow us to elephant journal to continue reading “Conscious Love: What the Hell is That?” and have a happy day.
About the Author
Lisa Foreman is a contributor to elephant journal; 48-year-old University of Texas law graduate; gym owner; personal trainer; writer; life coach; and mother of two daughters. She manifested her strengths as a competitive powerlifter with several world records and applied this knowledge to helping people reach their physical goals. After some recent struggles and subsequent growth in her own life, she realized she could share the the lessons she learned through those experiences and have more than just an impact on her clients’ physiques. She supports her life coaching clients with encouragement and assistance in developing strategies for synergy in their lives as in her own: physical, emotional and spiritual. Her writing allows her a creative outlet and a way to reach and be of benefit to more people than she can actually have contact with one on one. Contact her on her Facebook Page, Time to Transcend, to schedule an appointment to take your life from the ordinary to the extraordinary you are meant to to be living.