in: Dating & Relationships

How to Date with Class

Can a first (or second or third) date be mindful and gallant? Here are some tips to keep that old school charm in a modern day world.

You shape-shift from day-job to startup minor on the weekends, Yogi to Reiki Master—and still find time to volunteer, recycle and occasionally mentor—but when it comes to modern romance in an era that values equality, you’re not sure who pays and when.

Roles can be confusing—conscious couples may embrace a socially aware outlook on life that challenges the status quo defined by previous generations but lovebirds still create their own set of unique rules according to what feeds mutuality, trust and a meaningful soul connection.

Not all mindful couples are interested in genderless courtships—the best foot forward theory applies to young contemporaries as much as it does to traditional hopefuls.

If you’re feeling unsure of where chivalry meets contemporary mutuality, it’s time to squirm and learn.

[NOTE: if you’re ready to date like classy broads and gents, and are ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet, try MeetMindful for free today—the fastest growing dating site for conscious singles.]

Who pays and when?

Daters beware, a casual foot forward differs a great deal than a best foot forward.

Follow your heart, consider the dating chapter you are both on and be willing to have the conversation about the school of thought that defines your preferences when it comes to paying on a date. A hip, fresh face may have a different approach to a woman open to having a family.

While both may prove to be equally enthusiastic about soul mates, the environment and supporting causes that matter, those two messages can cause confusion if there’s a dating box you’re hoping everything will neatly fit into.

It won’t.

Beyond the charming photos of dogs, puppies and skiing weekends with friends that inevitably show up on dating profiles, its important to review the profile to ensure the love interest you’re fond of is on the same page with what you want. The less BFDs (benefits of the doubt) offered, the better. Profiles that suggest a readiness for long term partnership may demonstrate a focus on long term qualities that could potentially touch their lives.

Ensnaring a candid debate about who pays for what may signify you’re more invested in fear of scarcity than making a statement that all other suitors should fall to the wayside now that you’ve arrived.

You don’t know until you know.

If you can’t sport a private weekend eco-retreat just yet, don’t panic. Love isn’t all about money. Until you do know when you’d like to move love up a notch, take your time to review the online profile to better understand the chapter your date is on and be your best self. If you want to make an impression no matter how much money you have, focus on creating an interesting experience.

Effort, style and personality can be game changing so whatever you do until you’re sure you want to invest, make it count.

Dating can be costly, but so can loneliness.

You can’t un-have the talk, once you’ve had it.

You’ve finally confessed that Dutch is the road for you to equality bliss, even during initial stages of exploring a deeper connection. You’ve got it all mapped out how planning for a baby won’t slow down an independent working mother. Own it. There is someone out there for everyone but just know it may shift interest, availability and interest in friendship if that aforementioned foot comes across as sluggish, unmotivated and presumptuous.

When text responses become scarce and the lover suddenly masters chatting in 140 characters or less, don’t be surprised.

The truth is, you don’t owe one another anything and now each has the opportunity to understand if this was their best foot, or if it was their defensive one.

Angels and insects are different.

There’s a difference between a spoiled, entitled date who doesn’t mind spending your week’s pay in one night and someone seeking generous qualities who wants to feel secure enough to have a family and build a life together.

Putting a best foot forward doesn’t mean being rich, it means being clear, mature and invested in a healthy, loving relationship. What we invest in and co-create will shape traditions where each partner feels embraced for their contributions, unique roles and, hopefully, worth.

Ultimately, if we identify where we are in life right now and where we want to go, we can have an inside track to the kind of love money just can’t buy.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping dating light but keep it interesting so it can last and by all means, make it count.


 [image: via wikipedia commons]

About the Author:

Kahshanna Evans

Years of experience in the entertainment, fashion, film and tv world as on-camera talent combined with a decade of exploring energy healing traditions to include Shamanic Healing, Reiki, Voice Dialogue and Yoga helped me sink my narrative, branding and media chops into my boutique media hub Kissing Lions Public Relations. I am also the proud author of a screenplay about the resilience of of the human spirit entitled Amani and have been published as an author in My Angel Diary 2014 (Hay House UK, short story), OM Times (poem), UrbanOracle , NYC Pulse and Complete Balance. For inspiration, I’m on Facebook, Twitter and HERE.


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