in: Dating & Relationships

Why There’s More to Him Than “Divorced”

Live and learn, right? That’s the biggest takeaway when it comes to dating divorced men. Read why they can make the BEST partners and decide for yourself.

You hear it all the time. Divorced men have baggage. Or, there must be something wrong if they didn’t get it right the first time. They’re afraid of commitment and just want to be single.

So before you start writing these guys off, you might want to think about a few reasons why divorced men can make the best partners.

Here’s why:

The pain of divorce is a motivation to get it right the next time.

Anyone who’s been through a divorce knows the heartbreak and stress it can cause—trust me, it’s not pleasant. This pain can be a great motivation to get it right the next time. It’s not uncommon to find divorced men who have been through therapy or some type of soul searching after a divorce. In an attempt to avoid that pain again, they can be more open to exploring what went wrong.

They’re experienced…

Sex. Money. Co-habitating. Communication. They’ve been there, unlike bachelors who’ve never had the experience of sharing their lives with a partner. They know a relationship doesn’t always look like a few dates where everyone is on their best behavior. They’ve seen the intimate details of life with a partner. They (hopefully) learned a thing or two about a partner’s body and how to make you happy. They get what it means to share a life together. He also has realistic expectations for marriage that a bachelor lacks. Yes, experience matters.

They can learn from their mistakes.

Many men who’ve been through a divorce have spent some time in a healing process. When a married couple is in a state of conflict, pre-divorce, it can sometimes be difficult to see how each is contributing. It is often not until after the divorce that people can see the “forest through the trees” and learn about what went wrong…and how not to do it again. They can see that it takes two to make a relationship fail, and are willing to take responsibility for their part.

They know what they want.

A marriage teaches you what you want and need in a partner. Often, the qualities a person thinks they need before marriage is quite different after the split. A divorced man likely has a clear picture of what works for them, and what doesn’t. His awareness of this may save you some future heartbreak, as he could be choosing you for a good reason.

While there are certainly divorced men who don’t share these qualities, there are many who exist. Be a good detective and see what he’s learned from his experience. Keep your options open. You might be missing your Prince.

About the Author:

Chelli Pumphrey

Chelli Pumphrey, MA, LPC is a love & dating coach and a Licensed Professional Counselor from Denver, CO. More importantly, she’s a human being who strives to live an authentic life, by being real, raw, and unafraid to express her truth. She is devoted to helping others live and love passionately by gaining the confidence to be authentic in their own lives. She works with clients through her relationship coaching practice and as a therapist and founder of Trilogy Holistic Mental Health, where she offers retreats, dating and relationship coaching and therapy. If you’re looking to boost your dating confidence, self-esteem, and become a dating warrior, you can visit Chelli at, Trilogy Holistic Mental Health, follow on Instagram, Twitter, or like her on Facebook.


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