We’re not afraid to embrace the 9-year old inside. Sometimes you need to know: does he like me? or does he ‘like-like’ me? Krystal Baugher decodes the bros.
Now that communication technology has taken over the old-fashioned pen and paper, people no longer deliver the good ole “do you like me? check yes or no” notes to their crushes. (I tried it over Facebook messenger once and it worked… but it wasn’t nearly as cute.) Besides straight-out asking your crush if he likes you, there are plenty of other ways to figure it out before taking that drastic leap into *gasp* dating him.
1. Hi. Hello. Holla.
I always know when a guy is super into me because he goes out of his way every day to find ways to talk to me. Whether it’s sending me a link to a story, a meme, a song, he’s trying to stay involved and be a part of my world and that kind of attention is important.
2. Puts Language in His Body
There are so many subtle subconscious things that the body does when it likes or dislikes something or someone. If someone likes you they turn their body toward you, and if not their entire body, look at the feet. Feet point where people want to go–if it’s out of the door, that’s a no, if it’s toward you, he’s totally into you.
If he smiles more than usual, uses lots of eye contact, if he closes the gap in space between you, and if he touches your arm or shoulder or leg, these are other obvious body language cues.
3. Becomes Your Shield
When we like someone, whether it’s a friend, a family member, or lover, we will defend their honor. We can tell if someone like-likes us if they stand-up for us when someone else tries to bring us down.
4. Puts it Away
Now, this doesn’t happen that often, but if a dude puts his phone away, ignores it completely, he’s practicing being mindfully present with you and he’s respecting your company. It’s a total tell that he’s into you completely.
5. Word Play
He actually uses the word “date” when discusses your plans. It’s a scary word these days and if someone can be honest about what they want in relation to their relation to you, that’s not only a cue, but a positive personality trait.
6. Remembers Details
Maybe you casually mention your plan to go see the newest James Franco film that evening and the next day he asks you what you thought of the movie. Or maybe you mention your sister’s coming into town and then later he asks how she’s doing. It’s the little things that he recalls that lets you know he’s paying attention because he cares.
7. A Present Present
On the same line as remembering details, another sign is his thoughtfulness. As an example, I once mentioned how much I love this particular nintendo game; for my birthday, this guy bought me a game console with my favorite game of all time, Paperboy. I hadn’t even remembered that I had told him, which proved that what I said held meaning for him, proving his like-like. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it just has to show that he is indeed paying attention.
8. The Softer Side
Vulnerability is a learned trait, and it’s hard for most people. To build stronger connections and truly open up to the possibilities of a solid relationship, the only way to truly get there is by opening up. It’s a tell-tale sign that a guy is totally into you when they express something hard to share with you. They’re showing respect and trust, a foundation toward something stronger.
The signs are often super obvious. Of course, I prefer to just straight up tell a guy I like him, he can or he cannot like me back, that’s up to him. It’s just easier than basing it off cues or expecting someone else to say it first. Boldness and confidence are sexy, I say go for that instead of passively examining the situation. Either way, good luck out there.
[image: via James Theophane on flickr]