Nourish your feminine side and bring the sexy back. Tips for living life as a more embodied woman, embracing your feminine nature.
As a straight man, I like women. Really like them.
I love their smell. Their curves. Their voices. Their energy. Their warmth. Their wit. Their strength.
Yet, put 100 women in a room and there will be some that will draw my attention more than others. You might argue that it’s physical beauty and youth that are the defining factors. If the woman is younger or has “classically” beautiful features, then men will be attracted to her. But that’s rarely the case.
I’ve met many drop-dead gorgeous women who, seeing them from across the cafe, completely intimidated me with their beauty; but after two minutes of conversation, my attraction was gone.
And there have been women who didn’t initially incite any attraction, but after taking a moment to talk with them for a few minutes, I found them incredibly sexy. And I’ve heard similar things said by other men.
So what’s the X factor?
Here are three things that women can do today will give them the opportunity to feel and be sexier. This isn’t about getting validation from the outside, it’s about you feeling sexier from the inside. Remember: if you feel sexy and nobody’s watching, you’re still sexy.
1. Love being a woman.
There is nothing sexier than a woman owning her femininity. The specifics will look different for each woman, but the thing that matters is that you do and think whatever makes you feel like a woman—however you define that. Maybe it’s taking a luxurious bubble bath each night before bed. Maybe it’s wearing a cute sundress to the farmers market. Or dancing to Shakira in your living room. Or reading a Gloria Steinem biography. Just start being mindful of when you’re in your feminine essence and when you’re not.
2. Choose your mood.
Beauty is more an energy than it is a physical trait. Positivity and warmth are attractive. Happy women are sexy women. You don’t have to walk around with a permanent smile on your face, but ordering your latte without a friendly smile is a wasted opportunity for you to feel good. It’s also a missed opportunity for your barista, the people in line behind you, the people in the bathroom, and any other people who are nearby to notice and feel your good energy.
3. Be in your body.
At first, this might seem like one hell of a dumb statement; but the reality is that I’ve met and coached many women who spend a lot of time in their heads. Whether she is managing a corporate merger or designing the new art museum, the mind is a great and necessary tool. And yes, a good man is going be attracted to your intelligence. But attraction doesn’t happen only in the mind—it’s a visceral, physical, energetic experience and most self-aware men can tell when a woman is embodying her femininity. She’s fully and unapologetically being the woman she is.
So, just as I coach my male clients to get out of their heads and into their bodies, I recommend the same with women. We spend our entire lives in our bodies, we might as well get exquisitely familiar with it. Practice yoga regularly. Treat yourself to a Swedish massage. Take a belly dance class. Meditate for 15 minutes every morning.
These are just a few of the common things that men notice in the women they find sexy and attractive. So while there is no cookie-cutter mold for what is sexy in a woman, why not make sure you are taking mindful steps to being the sexiest version of you possible?
[photo: via Scarleth White on flickr]