in: Dating & Relationships

So You Want to Get Your Ex Back…

If you’re regretting the split, but don’t know where to start… start here. We’ve got all the things you need to know if you want to get your ex back. 

It’s sad when a relationship ends. It’s kind of hard to describe the feeling when you know you are in love with someone who you are no longer with; the utter heartbreak that sends jolts of longing and regret through your entire body.

Nothing really captures that hollow feeling of regret that ends up overwhelming your heart, particularly when it comes to a breakup.

Is it possible to get your ex back, though?

Yes and no. The reality is: you cannot force anyone to be with you. There is nothing you can do to ensure you get a certain outcome from somebody.

There are things that you can do, though, to maximize your chances of getting the person you loved and lost back.

Step 1: Leave them alone for at least a month if the breakup is fresh.

If you just broke up, it’s best to avoid constant communication unless there is some specific reason to (i.e you have children together or some kind of mutually shared situation that’s unavoidable).

What I mean by leave them alone is don’t bring up the notion of getting back together just yet. Let the wounds somewhat heal before trying to reunite. If you have been broke up for a long time, ignore this. The reason you want to put some time between the breakup is the bad memories (if there are bad memories) are still fresh and your ex’s emotions are extremely raw. Time offers perspective.

Step 2: Improve yourself and focus on what you can control.

The key to getting your ex back is… making a concerted effort to improving yourself and your life.

Do things you love to do. Re-discover a hobby you used to do or discover a new hobby. Change up your everyday routine. If you make an effort to change the things in your life that you can control, your mindset (along with the energy you project) becomes more attractive.

Step 3: Assess (honestly) whether or not you are compatible.

Before you rush back into something, make an effort to figure out whether you and your ex truly mesh as people. Consider the reasons you want them back and try to think of how you interact as people. Does the interaction feel effortless and natural?

Or, when you think about it, was the only reason you were together out of loneliness or wanting to be with someone instead of being alone? If this is the truth, perhaps getting back isn’t the right move.

Step 4: Realize that even if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to you will be okay.

This is an extremely important step when it comes to this venture. If your entire sense of happiness hinges on whether your ex comes back to you or not, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  This creates a needy vibe. Neediness is an automatic turn off—and will stop your ex in their tracks of even considering getting back together.

About the Author is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content and advice tailored to your particular needs.  It’s like having your own personal mentor guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way!

It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.

About the Author:

Guest Contributor

MeetMindful is the first online dating site to serve the mindful lifestyle. As part of that service, we’re bringing you a library of content from some of the most knowledgeable contributors in the areas of love and mindful living. If you have a story to tell or a lesson to share and you’d like to contribute to our site as a guest, please email us at [email protected]. If we’re a great match, we’d love to tell you more about joining our family of writers.


Join our Mindful Movement!


Sign up today, and we'll share bi-weekly Mindful Moments, full of helpful tips, tactics, and content to improve your life!


"Without a doubt, the most engaging written piece on mindfulness!"

- a Mindful Moment Subscriber


(We'll never sell or share your information, either.)

You have Successfully Subscribed!