Stop wasting time dwelling on your singlehood. Time to recalibrate to “happily single.” Because when it comes to happy… relationship status means zilch.
Two sometimes makes a crowd too, you know.
Whether you’ve just gone through a break up and are newly single, or are just feeling frustrated by the fact that you’re STILL single, flying solo doesn’t have to equal unhappiness.
Check out these tips to shift this chapter of single-hood into being one of the happiest times of your life:
1. Be OK with where you’re at right now.
Many single people spend a lot of their time looking for a partner. While there’s nothing wrong with getting back out there and dating, being able to enjoy where you are at right now in your life can also go a long way toward your happiness. Take advantage of this time; you never know how long it will last.
One of the simplest ways to stay present, boost your happiness, and appreciate your life right now is to cultivate a practice of gratitude. On a daily basis, write down the people and things you’re thankful for that day.
Don’t just stop there—immerse yourself in all the fantastic details of the people and things you are thankful for. What is it specifically that makes you appreciate that person or thing? Go deep with this, and have fun with it!
2. Get to know yourself on a deep level.
Many people have a tendency to lose themselves in relationships. They start doing everything their partner does, or they change themselves in order for their partner to like them. Now is your chance to truly get to know yourself—the real you.
Explore your mind. Go to therapy, meditate, unearth the negative thoughts you have about yourself and create new ones. Follow your curiosities—take a dance class, go to that writing workshop, read about astronomy, join that choir, go back to school or start that business you’ve been dreaming of the past five years.
Lose yourself in your passions and find your FLOW. Let your creative self explore, expand, and flourish. Volunteer and help others. Find what makes you angry or sad and go do something about it.
3. Fall in love with yourself FIRST.
Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we’ll ever have, so why not make it the best one you’ve got? Treat yourself as you would treat your partner, or how you would want your partner to treat you. You have a lot of love to give, and it’s time to turn that love inward.
Cultivate more self-compassion. This is a beautiful practice that can help you no matter where you’re at with your self-love. My own practice of self-compassion has completely changed the way I view myself and others. I have less shame, more self-acceptance, and a ton more compassion for others in my life.
Cultivate more body love/acceptance. Spend time with your body and find ways to appreciate it. Create rituals for yourself around taking care of your body, whether that is through eating foods that make you feel nourished, moving your body in ways that make you feel vibrant, or nurturing your body with bodywork.
One of my favorite things to do to appreciate my body is spending several minutes putting on my favorite body lotion, taking time with each part of my body and expressing what I love about each area. It feels really sweet and loving to do for myself.
You can also get in touch with your sensual side by turning yourself on. Buy yourself lingerie, explore your body in sensual ways and find new ways to pleasure yourself.
4. Do WHATEVER you want—no one can tell you not to!
You know that thing you like to do that your ex was always annoyed by? Or those things your partnered friends complain about not being able to do anymore now that they are in a relationship? Well you, my dear, get to do whatever you want with no one else getting on your case about it!
So go have that ice cream for dinner, leave your clothes on the bathroom floor, or watch that trashy TV show that you shamelessly love. Sing songs to your cat or dog in that silly voice, and let them sleep in bed with you. Dance around to whatever cheesy music you want, or watch your favorite movie again and again.
Let your freak flag fly and enjoy being able to just be YOU.
5. Get in touch with your wide range of emotions.
Let yourself feel ALL the feels. A big part of being in a relationship is dealing with each other’s emotions and moods. This is a beautiful growth opportunity, but it can also be a pain in the ass. When you’re single, you get to feel however you want to feel and no one will be “burdened” by it.
Don’t worry about being mad at something, or being randomly sad. Let yourself ugly cry over anything—get it all out.
6. Make your space your sanctuary.
Set up your space however you want it. Whether you live alone or with other people, spend some time setting your space up however supports who you are the best.
Maybe that means a creating a little hippie palace with tapestries, incense, candles, and pillows everywhere, or maybe you love having a really tidy, minimalist space with nothing more than what you need or whatever gives you that spark of joy.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure it speaks true to your own style.
7. Reconnect with your favorite people.
Many couples unintentionally spend less time with their friends and family. Take advantage of being single by enjoying time with your closest friends and family. Get out and meet like-minded folks via meet-ups or local community gatherings, or reconnect with a friend you’ve lost touch with.
If you’re more introverted (like me), luxuriate in your solitude. I thrive on being alone a lot of the time—it’s like oxygen for me. Solitude has some great health benefits. Even if you are more extroverted, I encourage you to try some more solitude and see how it impacts you.
8. Get back out there when the time is right.
When the time is right and you want to find a partner, get back out there. Or just date for fun and to meet new people. Flirt and fantasize so you can get hopeful about the possibility of meeting someone new. Get excited about the possibility of falling in love again.
Learn from your past and reevaluate everything you know about love and relationships. Figure out your attachment style, take an inventory of your past relationships, and get clear with yourself about what you do and don’t want in a partnership.
Our culture often acts like being single should be a sad time in our lives, but it’s just not true. It can actually be one of the most magical times—if we let it. So go forth and enjoy it as much as you can!
This article was originally published with YourTango; republished with the kindest permission.
Further Reading from YourTango:
- 47 Oh-So-Adorable Love Quotes To Share With Your Sweetie
- Sexy Stories That’ll Turn Up The Heat In The Bedroom (Oh Yeah!)
- Quotes To Share With Your Long-Distance Lover
About the Author
Jennifer Kind, MA, LPCi, CDWF is the fearless leader and Happiness Alchemist of The Daring Happiness Revolution. When she’s not braving her own humanity, she serves clients both in-person and online via Counseling, Coaching, Workshops, and eCourses.