in: Dating & Relationships

How to Be Sexy & Mindful on Your Next Date

Suzanne Muller-Heinz

Need a primer on how to be sexy for your next date? Suzanne Muller-Heinz is here to help you kick up the spice factor with these mindfully sexy suggestions.


What is Sexy? 

Women:

Is sex appeal having your cleavage on display? Maybe. Is sex appeal walking with your shoulders back and your head held high? Perhaps. Is sex appeal when you’re fully engaged in conversation and leaning in, clearly interested? Sure. Is sex appeal when you are considerate enough to call or text if you are going to be late? Could be. What if sex appeal is putting your cell phone away and not texting at the dinner table? Yep!

Men:

Is sex appeal a nice pair of jeans, coupled with a dab of yummy cologne? Maybe. How about when you hold the door open for a woman, and help her with her coat? Perhaps. Is sexy when you wear a sports coat, your purple button-down shirt and you are owning your favorite color? Maybe. Is sex appeal being a great listener who cares what his date is saying at all times and who, if the ballgame distracts his attention, acknowledges it to the person he’s with? Yep!

What if all of these are ways to heighten your sex appeal to someone? I want you to consider this. Let’s expand on some of these.

1. Dress so you feel confident, comfortable and sexy.

Wear those shoes that make you feel good and voluptuous. Take an extra minute to spritz on some perfume or cologne, wear a special necklace you’ve been meaning to wear for a while. Little splashes of color can make a drab outfit pop and come alive. You could even schedule 30 minutes to an hour ahead so you have enough time to be sure you know you are lookin’ and feelin’ hot and spicy for your date. Right? There is nothing worse than arriving for a date and fidgeting because you wore shoes you have never worn before, and now you have blisters. Eek! 

Ask others, “What do you think of this outfit?  Is this a good color on me?” Be sure to ask for their honest opinion. Remember, you are out to meet your life partner and forever-mate. You want to look and feel your best, so invest the time to get ready for these precious dates. You also want to feel sexy, confident and like a million bucks!

2. Be attentive.

Have you ever been out with someone who was always looking around, distracted by their cell phone, the TV, or other people? It’s annoying as heck—unless you are watching a movie together, snuggled up. Being sexy is about being attentive to your date, whether you will have a next date or not. When someone is asking questions, listening keenly and being genuinely interested in getting to know you, isn’t that sexy?

Being attentive can also look like carrying the bags for someone, helping them on and off with their coat and opening the door for them. Gently letting the other person know they have a crumb on their nose, or spinach between their teeth also has sex appeal because it means you are conscious and alert. Sometimes it’s the small things that most people do not notice which will set you apart from the bunch. If you can be someone who is aware and attentive, your sex appeal to others will skyrocket and you’ll come across as double sexy.

3. Staying in contact with your date.

Why is this sexy? Think about it. Have you ever been super excited for a date, even arriving five to ten minutes early? You are anxiously waiting at the bar or in the lobby. You look down at your watch as it ticks five minutes past the hour… and then ten after. What happens to your anticipation? Without a text or call to let you know your date will be late, that built-up excitement starts to dwindle, doesn’t it? “Come on,” we think “Am I being stood up?” Or worse yet, “I hope they weren’t in an accident… They have a phone, why no text or call? Will this person always be late?”

Sexy is about being thoughtful and considerate of the other person’s needs. Being someone who communicates their lateness, even if it’s only five minutes, shows your character and high level of integrity. As a Dating & Love Life Coach, one of the biggest items people tell me they are looking for in a long-term relationship is integrity. A quick text or call is well worth ensuring all that anticipation stays as high as it can be. You will be considered a person of high character and integrity. It also starts the date off on the right foot. Having integrity is very sexy.

Is wearing a sexy outfit that you love with fun colors appealing? You bet. Is smelling delicious with a good scent sensuous? Yep! Is texting when you are going to be late sexy? Sure is. Does showing your utmost attentiveness, awareness and consciousness bring a heightened level of sex appeal? Absolutely.

Sexy is as sexy does. My point is sexy is not the big boobs, the expensive clothes, or the fancy cars. It’s in the things that actually matter to us.

Remember, sex appeal is in both the little things and big things when dating. Get your sexy on and have a great time!

[image: via shutterstock]

About the Author:

Suzanne Muller-Heinz Suzanne Muller-Heinz

Suzanne Muller-Heinz is a global Dating & Love Life Coach with a special talent for helping smart singles figure out the formula to having a tender, thoughtful and healthy relationship. She is the author of Loveable: 21 Practices For Being In A Loving & Fulfilling Relationship and one of the co-authors of the international bestselling book, Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life. If you are a successful professional in every area of life except dating and love, and you hunger for a healthy love life, connect with her at Happy Living Forever.

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