Of all the things in the world to try to recover, lost trust proves to be the most difficult. If you’ve caused your partner unwarranted pain, read on.
Trust is the basic principle that makes every relationship work; it is the bedrock of love and intimacy. When trust is broken, it takes a lot along with it—respect, love, safety, and friendship. In the worst cases of betrayal or distrust, one might even lose oneself or the desire to live.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” —George MacDonald
Years of relation, passionate love, and one moment of betrayal… and it can all be over. No relationship is perfect, but a one without trust is nothing.
Being in love is arguably the most beautiful thing in this world. When you grow close to someone your life and your perception towards it change; you become a better human. The more you indulge in a relationship, the better your life becomes; however, it takes a lot to reach such a stage and TRUST is the foremost requirement here.
Trust lays the foundation of every relationship. When you meet somebody, it is your trust in them that allows you to proceed to fall for them. When two people in a relationship trust each other to be loyal, honest, and kind, their togetherness flourishes with each passing day.
On the flip side, relationships flounder when they face distrust, which, unfortunately, is quite common these days. Trust can be lost through rage, lies, violence, unethical activities, drug and alcohol abuse, and sexual infidelity. And once it’s broken, couples often face a ‘Humpty Dumpty’ scenario: it’s hard to build it back again. One trust is broken, it leads the wronged person into heartbreak and distress; this distrust causes complex and convoluted behaviors that are often hard to change.
“Trust is like paper; once crumbled, it can’t be perfect.”
While rebuilding trust is difficult, if the parties involved try with persistence and clarity, the healthy of the relationship can be regained to some extent. Let’s have a look how.
Denial only creates more suspicion. The more you hide the truth, the more you create confusion and ultimately distrust. If you really want to win your partner’s faith back, be prepared to take responsibility for your actions, willingly. While detailed truth can sometimes cause initial hurt, transparency is a must.
Give Your Partner Time & Space to Vent
When things get messed up, patience is the best way to deal with them. When your partner finally learns of your deception, you may have to face their complete emotional distress—including crying, asking questions, raging at you, and hurling a great deal of ultimatums. In this situation, you’ll have to stand strong, keep apologizing, stay faithful and continue reaching out.
Avoid Self-Justifying & Being Casual
Only your sincere efforts can revive your lost relationship. Devote yourself to working out the matter or the wall will never come down. If you, too, become aggressive or heated, the less you are able to hear what your partner wants and needs in the moment—and the worse they will feel as a result.
Discuss Your Influences
There can be various reasons behind indulging in dishonest acts—loneliness, sexual dissatisfaction, lack of interest, etc. Opening up about your own struggle, what you feel, what drove you to this, can help to prevent further breaches. For instance, if you are experiencing loneliness in your relationship, make an appointment with a counselor and sit back with your spouse to find the right solution. Talking about your feelings is the best way to re-connect.
Renew Your Vows
Whether you’re married or not, discussing your shared values and ideal life is what really matters. A clean and open discussion may be the most important part of the trust-building process. Open up yourself to your partner about what you want, and re-commit (together) to a strong, happy future.
Practice the Three As
Last but not least: Affection, Attention and Appreciation daily can be your secret way out. Show your partner how much you love them in big and small ways; however, remember not too force yourself on them if they aren’t receptive to your affections. Intimacy, even in the smallest gestures, will require time to re-cultivate.
The Bottom Line
Relationships are easy to break and difficult to remake. While not everybody wants to continue with their broken relations, opting instead to move on, there are many people who try hard to keep their relationship alive. Renewing trust is not just a decision, it’s about coming home to yourself and your partner, and making it work.
If you really want it to happen, put your heart into it. If you need a change, make it.
Creating trust is a lifelong commitment, so treat it that way. While this can seem like daunting and delicate process with many facets, if handled with care, can rekindle a relationship. If you really want to restore that lost trust, bring to it greater intimacy and love.
About the Author
Alinn Smith Dermatologist by profession who is currently associated with DrNumb & DrScabies, she loves to read which help her to gather knowledge of different topics. Over the recent past she has contributed to many websites about Health, Skin Care, Food, Love and Relation advice.