When dating, we want to feel confident and comfortable no matter what the location. Allana Pratt returns to help us find our flow in the bedroom again.
Question: I haven’t “been” with a woman since my wife and I split 6 years ago. After being married for 14 years, I feel like I may be out of practice in the bedroom department. Do you have any tips?
Answer:
Thank you for much for this question… it seems it’s an area of concern so besides actually ‘practicing’… let’s begin inside.
1. Shame: Shame creeps up on us, dissolving our power, diluting our presence, making us feel embarrassed to simply be who we are! Love, what if you didn’t judge yourself that it’s been six years? What’s the benefit or gift of not having sex for six years? Perspective is everything.
2. Authenticity: While you may not want to lead with ‘It’s been 6 years since…’ on date #1, overcompensating or avoiding isn’t attractive. Authenticity is seductive. When it comes to the ‘conversation’ when you get to that part of a relationship with a woman, be real, be you, hide nothing, justify nothing, apologize for nothing. YOU ROCK and THAT’S THAT no matter what she thinks, I think, anyone thinks, yes?
3. Get Messy: It seems you’re making this fact in your life kind of heavy, significant. What if you got a little messy and ‘failed’ a few times to prove you won’t die, you’ll get back up, you’re now stronger/wiser etc and you move on. Sing karaoke. Take a dance class. Martial arts class. Something that will probably kick your ass. Can you love yourself even then? That will allow you to roll with the punches and not make dating or sex such a big deal… and you can focus more on the fun of it. Sex is fun, remember? And I bet this time you can choose to be more self expressed, intimate, erotic, YOU than ever.
4. Questions to Ask Before You Date: In my complementary report and video series, I go through three questions to ask before you go an a date. They set you up to be confident, calm, sexy and authentic. You can download it at GetHerToSayYes.com. What if this is going to be even better than you can imagine?
I believe in you.
Deliciously, Allana xoxo
[image: via shutterstock]