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The Introvert/Extrovert Relationship: Making it Work

Gerry Ellen

If we had to sum the introvert/extrovert relationship up in one word, we’d most certainly choose BALANCE. Opposites can indeed attract with some intention.


It’s all about balance: A balance of energy, a balance of responsibilities in the home and to each other, a balance of social duties versus solitude requirements, and a balance of love versus fear.

The introvert and extrovert in a partnership can create more than its fair share of excitement and curiosity. Two individuals with completely opposite methods of relating are sure to fire up daily happenings throughout their time together. The question remains whether it is a viable means to keep things going in the partnership; and, if they choose to be in it for the long haul, can two people make this kind of relationship work?

I believe it revolves around love and openness in the heart.

With that love and openness comes compromise and the occasional sacrifice, whereby stepping out of your comfort zone is warranted and oftentimes magical. It’s incredibly easy to get set in our ways; it’s amazingly difficult to alter patterns without an open and willing heart.

Giving the extrovert room to understand the needs of the introvert takes some doing. Presenting the introvert’s idiosyncrasies to the extrovert can cause some head scratching and body flinching. The introvert is all too happy to be alone and in their space. The extrovert wants to socialize and be part of the scene, more often than not.

Blending these two energies can be a very harmonious thing, if the love is solid.

What defines the introvert is a person who requires more seclusion time and has difficulty and anxiety in crowds or too much people meeting. They are better suited to being isolation, amongst close loved ones or a beloved pet. Introverts are extremely creative due to their imagination going hog wild when in their solitude and peace. Most can conjure up narratives and illusions that seem all too real, yet once out in the world their stories tend to get blown up and disproportionate to their reality.

An introvert truly enjoys being and having so much space that it can leave an extroverted partner in a constant questioning mode, or possibly even distrustful of their actions. This is where the LOVE button comes into play. Introverts aren’t in society to cause a ruckus; they merely want to be left alone. When they finally meet that special someone—one who might possess more extroverted qualities—it’s almost a relief for the introvert. It pulls them out of their skin a bit and gives them another side to life, a truly beautiful thing to witness.

The extrovert, on the other hand, is full of life and comedy and outwardly displays of actions towards others. They are the life of the party and can’t think of any other way to conduct their energy when in large gatherings. Their need to be surrounded by people and distractions are what fuel their fire. They might find the time to have some peace and quiet, yet it’s mainly to recharge for what’s next to come in their external life.

An extroverted heart almost demands that an introvert make an appearance in their day to day, because it shows them how to slow down. Their opposite natures can be a constant seesaw in the relationship world, and the extrovert coming down from his or her high gives the introvert reasons to sigh and deep breathe.

These two together can make it; there just has to be books read, support systems in place, and maybe even a counseling session or two prior to any commitment. Yes, it’s that serious of a dynamic. It involves attachment and non-attachment, which is something any relationship would benefit from taking a more in depth look at within their twosome.

If the extrovert can feel non-threatened by giving the introvert his or her space when necessary, the introvert will in turn, give the extroverted soul permission to satisfy his or her jollies. Trust is the primary word here. It has to be set in stone, adhered to, and respected. An introvert will read up on the subjects relating to their partnership, while the extrovert will walk the talk of what the introvert studied. That’s the hope anyway, and what will make it work.

No two people are exactly the same, and it’s in their uniqueness where an introverted person coupled with an extroverted person will grandly benefit from their love, their trust, their understanding, their kindness toward one another, their belief in each other, their humility when the going gets tough, and their willingness to see the authenticity that makes up their persona. The real test lies in identifying who is who, and going from there. It can and does work, and if I had my own past qualms with relationships, I’d say that the way to happiness is in the acceptance.

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About the Author:

Gerry Ellen Gerry Ellen

Gerry Ellen is an author, creative storyteller, and wellness advocate. She enjoys sharing her experiences of life, love, and all things meaningful and healthy through words and images. She is a regular contributor to MeetMindful, Be You Media Group, Tattooed Buddha, and Rebelle Society. As a former featured columnist on elephant journal and Light Workers World, she considers her love of nature and the outdoors, heart-centered connections, friends and family, and traveling to explore and expand as the epicenter of her world. She is extremely driven with her service work through 8 Paws Wellness with her dog, Scout. Gerry Ellen has authored and published two books, Ripple Effects (March 2012) and A Big Piece of Driftwood (April 2014), which are both available on Amazon.com

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