in: Dating & RelationshipsIntentional Living

Laureli Shimayo on How Our Eyes Can Make Us Better Daters

Laureli Shimayo has a superpower and it’s called a ThriveTypes® Eye Reading. In this interview, learn they’ll show you true authenticity—in life AND love.


1. You’re pretty involved in the conscious communities in Portland and Seattle, could you tell us a little more about that and how they differ?

Portland is a smaller community, and many are community-minded, so the conscious community in Portland feels a bit like one big, interconnected web. There are distinct elements, and lots of people ebb and flow through many of them, so, even if I never go to a group’s activities, I still have a sense of who they are. Likewise, if I choose to go, I’ll likely not only see people I already know, I can trust that the new space and people will be welcoming.

Seattle, on the other hand, is a much larger city, and it has many seemingly separate conscious communities: there are many different spiritual stores, many consciousness Meetup groups separated by geography, etc. There are more opportunities to connect with conscious community, however the groups seem more porous and are generally not as eager to embrace newcomers.

2. Can you tell us about your personal path and how you started working in love and relationships?

Over my life I’ve dated many people: answering my first personal ad and going on a date 30 years ago, then after a marriage ended, doing online dating on many local and national websites over 15 years in between relationships of varying lengths.

Dating different people and learning from each experience has been a huge part of my own personal growth journey. I desire to share what I’ve learned so others find truly great partners faster than I did—in months rather than years and without needing to have relationships with so many people. Also, since one of my nicknames was “Connectress” (I naturally connect people for all sorts of things) and I was getting trained in coaching and several somatic psychotherapies, I almost couldn’t help but become a dating coach and matchmaker.

3. At our launch party you offered personal matchmaking using your ThriveTypes® Eye Readings techniques. Can you tell us more about that and what makes this work deeply personal for you?

ThriveTypes (ThriveTypes.com) are a set of archetypes for thriving that describe what someone values, their gifts and talents, how they most easily communicate and protect themselves, what motivates them and much more.

When I learned my ThriveTypes and the ThriveTypes of my parents and exes, I realized that over my whole life I had been attracting and dating people who were versions of my father and very different from me—I was struggling with trying to be seen by (my dad) and efforting to meet and get accepted by people so different than I was—and I was exhausted (see a video of my journey at DatingPatternsAndPurpose.com). I realized I would never experience the ease, joy, connection and fulfillment I knew was possible until I dated people more like me, and I finally got there!

A person’s ThriveTypes are revealed in their eyes (e.g., Eyes are a window to the soul), I’m able to deeply see a person and reflect their greatness back (and help them tune their online dating profile to reveal more authenticity) and then screen the eyes of their potential dates to point out their best matches. I also provide lots of online dating tips and coach people through the process of expanding to be met by a partner who fully sees and appreciates them.

4. We know mindfulness manifests itself differently depending on who we are. What does it mean for you to live mindfully?

For me, living mindfully is noticing what’s happening for me in the moment and sharing transparently. This can look like sharing that I feel excited and also nervous or scared on a first date (or at the beginning of a presentation I was about to give, like I did last week). It also means that I’m regularly and lovingly noticing when I drift off into less conscious pseudo-awareness and choosing again to shift and refocus my attention on what’s good and what I really want…and then making that real. Another aspect is that I aim to always be open to feedback, to look to see what juicy nuggets are just the right thing for me to hear right then, and to integrate this new learning.

5. You used to live in Boulder. Why did you choose to move to Portland? What are your favorite things about the Rose City?

I moved to Portland to get out of the dry Colorado air and intense sun and be in a bigger and even more liberal city. I experience Portland to be a more community-focused and slightly more conscious city than Boulder, with more interest in authenticity, despite that it may sometimes be messy.

Some of my favorite things are the locally sourced and sublime gastronomic fare; the endless array of quirky, local shops and neighborhoods; the Japanese and Chinese gardens; and the scenic bridges. I also love the creative, smart, and playful people and their generous community spirits.

6. At MeetMindful, we consider your eye reading techniques a superpower. If you could chose one other superpower, what would it be and why?

I would choose unwavering self-confidence. Not arrogance, but a trust of myself that would allow me to be fully alive, to wholeheartedly and proudly share all that I am able to offer. Not getting caught in doubt, I imagine I’d write more, speak more, and reach and share with so many more people. I want to make the biggest possible impact—to maximize how many people are authentic throughout life, leadership and love—and simply by answering the questions in this interview, I notice I’m already choosing this self-empowered path that much more.

7. If you could give one powerful piece of dating advice to people, what would it be?

The most impactful step would be to explore the 7 Talents of ThriveTypes, deeply look to see how you believe you should be more like some of them (these traits might be like your parents or older siblings), and then face into how these Talents show up in your online dating profile and how you present yourself on dates.

Notice what you judge as “bad” in yourself and hide, not revealing what is real. This is the biggest reason why we attract and create unfulfilling relationships—by not proudly sharing who we are (and instead sharing what we think we should be), we inadvertently attract and choose partners who like our facades and masks, not the real us.

I used to do this myself, choosing photos for my profile and writing about topics and in a style that made me look and sound like my dad and a bit of my mom, not me. I realized and changed this, and along the journey learned to truly love myself, and so can you!

 

MeetMindful Member Exclusive!

To get a FREE 15-minute matchmaking consultation with Laureli, send her an email at: Laureli@Thrive-Wise.com. Be sure to tell her MeetMindful sent you!


About Laureli Shimayo:

laureli shimayoLaureli Shimayo has been a coach, consultant, metaphysical practitioner, teacher and author specializing in applying ThriveTypes and Body Psychology to leadership development, human resources, personal growth and romantic matchmaking since 2008. She brings a brilliantly insightful, scientific mind together with an engaging and present heart. She is strategic, practical, intuitive and transpersonal in her approach. Laureli is at her core a “connectress” — connecting knowledge into a useful map, organizations with ways to win their game, people with their purpose and genius, complementary teammates and partners to each other and people into deeper connection. Learn more about Laureli and her work at www.LaureliShimayo.com

 

About the Author:

MeetMindful

Welcome to MeetMindful, the first online dating site to serve the mindful lifestyle. If you are ready to meet other singles who value healthy living, personal development, sustainability, spirituality, yoga, meditation, self-awareness, authentic connections and more, you've come to the right place. When you become a member of MeetMindful, you will get access to like-minded singles, hand-picked local events, plus life-changing conscious dating and love advice from nationally recognized relationship experts. Why? Because we love you.

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