in: Dating & Relationships

5 Ways to Let Go of Unrequited Love

There are many kinds of love, but none as cruel as love unreturned. If unrequited love has got you blue, we’ve got the magic you’ve been waiting for.

Sometimes we fall the hardest from unrequited love.

Therese Brochard, an author and blogger who focuses on overcoming depression, submitted a piece to Huffington Post entitled, “12 Ways To Recover From An Emotional Affair.” While Brochard’s intention was to help happily married folks get over their crushes, we found the tips would work on just about any unrequited infatuation.

After all, we all know the cruel trick our psyche plays once we realize the object of our affection doesn’t feel the same way: we just fall harder. So while we’re huge proponents of following your heart, here’s a crash course in outsmarting the romance novel in your head with our favorite five of Brochard’s tips.

1. Schedule your obsessing.

While a true crush is the lifeblood of morning, noon and night, Brochard suggests you quiet the violins in your head and set aside a time to think about that special person. Like, say, during breakfast or while you walk around the block on your lunch break.

Admittedly, we’ve never tried this. It sort of reminds us of attempting to avoid a blinking, beautiful bowl of chocolate candy when we’d sacrifice our first born for a single M&M. Yet, Brochard suggests you have a dialogue with yourself that goes something like this: “Thought, I appreciate your coming, but I’ve scheduled you for seven this evening, at which time you can totally distract me if you want.” You tell those thoughts who’s boss!

2. Replace your crush with a hobby.

This one kills two birds with one stone. Distract yourself from the sick, delusional white wedding with Crush X in your head, and sign up for that kickboxing class you’ve been wanting to do for months. Brochard thinks this should be a “challenge,” so the more draining the better. Time to train for that marathon or become fluent in Spanish. No slacking!

3. Accept that you’re lonely.

While, yes, the person you’re obsessing over may very well be Dreamy McDreamboat, the sheer fact you’ve allowed the fantasy to absorb so much valuable brain power is a red LONELY flag flapping in the wind. As Brochard says, “It’s the emptiness within you that you have to be willing to experience, not the one who could temporarily take it away.”

4. Realize that it’s all in your head.

The adrenaline rush of love at its very basic level is nothing more than just a few brain synapses gone wild. Infatuation is the brain’s own personal cocaine party. A few extra bumps of dopamine and suddenly the entire world is a rose-colored long walk on the beach. The sooner you realize love is as powerful a drug as anything black market, the quicker you can take control of it.

5. Write out your feelings.

If you’re too ashamed to admit to anyone you’ve lost it hardcore for someone so utterly uninterested, try a nice, long journal session. Writing out one’s emotions has been scientifically proven to help speed up the healing process.


Written by Melissa Nobel

This article was originally published with YourTango; republished with the kindest permission. 

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