We all have methods of keeping ourselves safe, even with matters of the heart. It’s time to dismantle those love barriers and open up to all things good.

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There’s a great teaching of Rumi, the 13th century Sufi poet, that tells us if we want love, it’s our job to remove any barriers to it. His exact language was pristine, perfectly worded, and wise… where my paraphrasing, not to mention my attempts to execute this principle, is clunky (at best). Still, I refer to it often, whenever I need an added reminder that being in love, without the encumbrance of conditions or strings, is the ultimate journey for us all.

Here’s where I must add that some universal truths about love may languish in our over-thinking if we’re not careful. What we’re going for, after all, is to realize love’s presence in our actions and being. As such, it’s easy, and often unconscious, to sabotage ourselves by lining the path to love with stumbling blocks. If you’ve ever found yourself tripping up over the same issues in different relationships, then you know of whence I speak.

What follows are a few timeless reminders about love, along with tips to help you address any blocks you may have around it.

Buddha

When Buddha said, “Love is a gift of one’s innermost soul to another so both can be whole,” he wasn’t just offering up a useless platitude for greeting card companies. He was inviting us to keep our hearts open to others so we could experience the same in return.

Despite any past wounds we’ve sustained in love, there’s no way around the fact that if we ever expect to receive it again, we must also be willing to give it—even if it’s through the tiniest crack of a closed heart, let your love trickle out, gaining momentum in the world as it goes.

Giving whatever love you’re able to is the surest way to guarantee its flow back to you.

The Love Doctor

Leo Buscaglia was a self–proclaimed Love Doctor who once said, “Love is always bestowed as a gift—freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.” I sense a repeating theme here: the idea that love is to be given as a gift, freely.

If you felt yourself contracting at the thought of giving love for the sake of itself, you’ve got a block. To open up your generous, loving nature, start by intending just that. Then, perform anonymous acts of kindness for people you know, as well as strangers. The Love Doctor couldn’t have left us with a more perfect prescription.

Loretta Young

“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you,” said Hollywood starlete, Loretta Young. Honestly, I tend to roll my eyes at people who tell me stuff like this (Note: that may be my own block to love talking; I’ll own that.) But, if you’re reading this on MeetMindful, the odds are good you’re searching, too. No harm whatsoever in that, honey!

And yet, Ms. Young does make an excellent point: Desperation stinks—consider it a buzz kill to the intoxication of love’s natural elixir.

At a social function recently with my friend David, we sat next to two friendly women and introduced ourselves around. We chatted and noticed straight away that one of the women was particularly funny, but the more she engaged with my friend, the more caustic her humor became. Clearly, she was still reeling from the treatment of a man in her past and wasted no time directing it out toward my friend. Hurt happens to us all, and if what Loretta says is true, it’s up to us not to bar the door, but to welcome it in when it comes calling.

Mother Teresa

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” Who else but Mother Teresa could dole out such wisdom as this? Known for telling would-be volunteers to go back home and spread love in their own ’hoods, she was a tireless advocate of performing small acts of loving kindness, often. She was a living example of love in action. Reluctance to live in service to love keeps it at bay.

One way to work with this block is to realize your power to change the course of someone’s day—and, possibly, life—by the simple exercise of compassion. More than performing random acts of kindness, understanding the power of love to heal will speed your own healing in the process.

Zora Neale Hurston

Zora Neale Hurston once wrote, “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” As a writer and anthropologist, she knew her subject: people. Right down to the stories they told. One such story that creates a barrier to love is we must hide our hearts to keep them from being hurt, and that we dare not draw too much attention to ourselves lest we attract the attention of people who want to do us harm.

Almost immediately, the act of shutting down douses not only our heart fire, it also drains away our passion for other pursuits in life. Hiding our hearts away, curtailing our emotions after heartbreak or out of habit, won’t keep us safe. It’s actually a dangerous game we can’t afford to play because it keeps the vibrancy of life itself at bay.

The ways we block our own access to love are many; the tools we use to keep us “safe” from its uncertainties, staggering. More often than not, we work at cross purposes where love is concerned. We may say we want loving life partners, we might even intend, pray, meditate, and vision it with a fierceness, but how readily do we meet life (i.e., strangers, difficult situations, random thoughts, our living conditions, ourselves) with loving energy and open arms?

Even for the most willing among us to do the personal work required for deep connection and healthy relating, the fact remains that our blocks and blind spots are rarely apparent to us. Which means, even the work of doing the work demands we show up humbly to love, willing to listen, open to learning, and courageous enough to wholly receive what comes. Rumi and the rest have reminded us of this much. Now it’s our turn to begin.