in: mindful living

Meditation for Mindful Dating

Most of us are aware of the plethora of benefits—physical, mental and spiritual—that meditation provides us. What you might not have known is that through visualization, we can manifest the man or woman of our dreams.

 

 

Every time I thought about dating, I used to cringe. Another man, another drink, another pick up line.

But on my way to meditation class, an epiphany—the ‘ah ha’ moment as it is commonly called. I would visualize the person I wanted in my life and create my own reality.

Visualization, the most powerful way to speak to yourself and create destiny. It sounds impossible, but with visualization, you go beyond asking for what you want, you put yourself in the moment.

And with visualization during my meditation, I knew that I would find my soulmate. Keeping my wants simple, not asking for specific physical characteristics, but focusing instead on character. I knew I wanted kindness, benevolence and above all a gentle quality. A person who would share my love for spirituality and perhaps even be a meditator, like myself. I would focus on quality and find my soulmate.

As an advanced meditator you need a guide. Not quite a teacher, but he or she can help you to achieve your goals and manifest new interests in your life. My guide was no different. I asked her for someone with a high EQ, Emotional Quotient, and she told me to visualize what I wanted twice a day in my meditations. Although you don’t have to meditate twice daily, my life, so stressful, just made things easier for me. It was my time to turn off my technology devices and let my heart and mind just be.

I continued to pursue my interests of taking part in walks for causes—it was there that I met my now husband. He found me, we went to Starbucks and talked after the walk was over. He lived in NJ, but was in Queens visiting family and decided to go to the walk on Queens Boulevard, I lived in Queens about five blocks from the walk.

Now a New Jersey girl, I will share some visualization secrets with you.

Find Your Center

There is so much negativity in the world, you need to release it. Meditation is the best way to do this, finding your place and visiting once or twice daily. No time? Try a quiet space at work, people will still speak around you, but respect the fact that you meditate. You will learn to block out sound quickly.

Observe Nature

Find the beauty in the things around you, whether you only have one tree that grows in Brooklyn, or a lush forest nearby, find the place that gives you peace. Look at simple things differently and they will become beautiful. The blade of grass, the budding trees, the squirrel eagerly seeking nuts to store for the winter.

It’s Not About Feng Shui

Positioning furniture may help, but living a life that is clean and uncluttered is more important. Purge things you haven’t looked at in years, give things to charitable organizations and away to neighbors. Yard sales are way too much work for the money, take a tax write off instead and your life will be happier. An uncluttered and stark room will also help you think more clearly. With less fog and clearer thinking, you can make better decisions.

Create a Meditation Corner

It can be as elaborate as you want, but all you need is a pillow or bamboo mat, some incense and some new age music—sometimes a little Yani works as well as long as you don’t get too sleepy. Make sure you do your meditation at a time that you can stay up, falling asleep does not do anything for you, you cease to meditate. Candles should not be used while in a meditation, unless supervised by another person closeby in the room. There have been too many cases of fire that started in meditations and your reactions may not be as quick when you come out of meditation to put out fire.

Intelligent Choices

Make intelligent choices, think with your mindful mind, but follow your spirituality teachings that will lead you closer to leading a more mindful life. Take your new relationship slow and easy, get to know one another in a deeper level. If you can meditate together and visualize your happiness as a couple, as well as an individual.

Eat Mindfully

Cook together and create special recipes that are meaningful to your relationship. Don’t waste; recycle, think about how your food impacts on the earth and buy your vegetables mindfully and without packaging. Although this is a tough one, try not to use plastics and try to eat more vegetables, even if you can not become a vegetarian, you can engage in mindful eating.

Meditation Classes

If you don’t know how to meditate and decide a class is best for you, just look up local meditation classes in your area. Chances are, your local library will have one already. If you don’t like meditation, play golf, walk on the beach or other favorite place and then visualize what you want and need.

It is not as if you can wish for a huge lottery winning, but you could visualize yourself more prosperous and being more benevolent, than the money you wish for may follow. But in terms of dating, using visualization and meditation is an important part of finding your mate.

Good luck in finding your soulmate, he or she is out there waiting for you.

The Internet has opened an entire world of new tools for finding meditation classes and independently working, there are even apps. For those that are old school like me, here are some links for learning to meditate, wherever you may be located:

GaiamTV Beginner’s Meditation

Mediation for Beginners

The Path of Mindfulness Meditation by Peter Strong PhD

Or try this guided meditation and visualization for relaxing:

[image: via Lisa Omarali on flickr]

Ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet?

Register with MeetMindful for free today—the fastest growing dating site for conscious singles.

About the Author:

Cynthia Fabian

Originally from New York City, Cynthia Fabian now enjoys meditation and the quiet life in Somerset, New Jersey. A general writer, Fabian has written for many regional publications, including NY Newsday. Fabian's first book, now being re-written was entitled, Those Sweet Nothings, a book about dates gone wrong. The book focused on how we can all change our perception of oneself and others. Fabian has also written several children's books that help children and their families overcome obstacles. Fabian has been featured on over 50 radio shows and several television shows regarding her dating book, but also for her help to help children overcome many obstacles in life.

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