in: Intentional Living

Never Say “I Love You” Again

Guest Contributor

Can you communicate love without speaking? Take cues from this adoring couple—who happen to be both deaf and mute—on how to say “I love you” without a word.


Do you ever wonder what it’s like to have a deep connection with someone? One so deep that you don’t have to say a word because they already know what you’re thinking? Is that even possible? It sure is!

My friend Lisa and her husband Che are both deaf and mute and I’ve had the opportunity to eavesdrop on their romance. Here’s what I learned.

Touch

An amazing thing happens when you simply touch someone—it happens every day and still we barely notice it. For those few seconds or minutes that you make contact with another human being, both of your worlds become one and that moment becomes one moment shared by two.

Notice when you hug someone or hold their hand or even just touch their shoulder, you’re immediately thinking about them and they are thinking about you. You’re sharing a moment in time!

Every time Lisa wants to get her husband’s attention, she gently touches his hand or rubs his back. He immediately turns and looks her at her.

I’ve found that calling someone by their name means they can answer without ever looking at you. What you’re asking or telling them can get lost, simply because you never got their attention.

Touch gets the attention of the other person without saying a word—it’s actually also very useful when you have to say something that you might be upset about. Lisa touches her husband on the shoulder when she’s not to happy about something and he takes her by the pinkie finger when he wants to tell her something nice. I found this to be so adorable!

I want you to try this, when you’re with your significant other, touch them gently to get their attention before you speak. This simple gesture warms them up and prepares them to receive exactly what you have to say. Because touch has so much power, the moment you escape your personal space and touch someone in their personal space, magic happens.

Give More

Who doesn’t love a nice present, right? But this isn’t actually about presents—sure, I think it’s nice to give and receive presents, but this is more than that. This giving says: I’ll give you me—my full attention! Have you ever talked to someone who’s multitasking? A person who’s also on their phone, even, at the same time? Makes you kind of wonder if you should bother continue talking, right?

Lisa and her husband are both tech savvy—their businesses are promoted online. Lisa is a makeup artist and Che is into art branding for deaf community publications, so they do spend a lot of time on their gadgets. That said, I’ve seen how healthy the technology boundaries are in their relationship, too.

Coming to my house for dinner, they’ve never once walked in with their phones. Similarly, they shut everything down at 9pm each night and spend most evenings working on a 5000 piece puzzle, or cooking and eating. This strengthens the connection between them both as they shut the world out for just a few hours and make intentional time for building their relationship

I have been with Lisa at times and she would know moments before Che enters a room, or she would look around the minute he walks in—it’s happened too often to be a coincidence. She’s told me on many occasions that she knows him so well, whenever he’s close, somehow she just knows.

And finally—and probably most amazing of all—is how they communicate the most famous words of all time, ‘I Love You,’ without signing or writing or even texting it.

Have you ever heard the expression Don’t tell me you love me, show me? Well, that’s exactly the philosophy Lisa and Che live by.

Che and Lisa have a list of each other’s daily goals, which they give to one another each morning. Lisa takes something from Che’s list and either does it or dedicates part of her day to ensuring that one or more of his goals are met. He does the same for her. It might be something simple. For instance, Lisa might say, “Today I want to drink eight glasses of water.” To help Lisa reach that goal, Che would either message her at eight points during the day or have eight bottles of water delivered to her! At the end of the day, during their personal time, they find creative ways to thank each other for helping them meet their respective goals. How absolutely simple and effective.

I know everyone may not have a situation that allows them to do all of the things I’ve noticed in Lisa and Che’s relationship, but you can start with just the simple and powerful touch and work your way toward showing your significant other you love them without saying a word!


About the Author

Luan John is a freelance content writer based on the warm, beautiful island of Trinidad and Tobago. As a content writer, the majority of her current workload consists of relationship advice and inspiration which she thoroughly enjoys. To connect with Luan, find her on Instagram and on her site, As We Wait Group

About the Author:

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