Whether just signing up or already in the game, there are things to look out for in the world of online love. Here are four online dating pitfalls to avoid.
Online dating is one of the freshest and fastest ways out there to meet people; however, when you’re starting out, it’s easy to fall into traps that can make you start hating this great dating platform.
Here are four things you want to avoid so you’re not filled with regret over what you said and the time you wasted.
1. You speak for over an hour and don’t get a date out of it.
This sucks! Has it happened to you? You speak to a great person for a good hour or more—you laugh, you joke, you smile and forget entirely that this is a stranger you’ve never met because you just get on so well—the phone call draws to a close and no mention is made of ever meeting up!
Yep, that sucks.
Now, I’m one of those people who thinks that when it comes to dating, we need to ensure that it is easy and that there is as little confusion as possible. So who should ask who out on a date? If you’re a bit more traditional like me, it should be men. If the man, doesn’t, there are a few things that could be happening:
a) The man doesn’t mention meeting up because he’s worried about pressuring her.
b) The man isn’t sure, so he thinks that he’ll call again and then decide whether he wants to ask the woman out or not. He may be planning to call five other women that week before he decides who gets a date.
c) He lacks confidence. Gentlemen… if you want the girl, you’ve got to ask her out!
d) He’s a time-waster–someone who likes a female presence in his life, but doesn’t necessarily want a relationship.
e) He’s waiting for the her to say something (note: if both parties are waiting for the other to take the initiative, then nothing’s going to happen)
The bottom line is if you’ve spent over an hour speaking to a woman, and enjoyed every minute of it and haven’t found any deal breakers, it’s poor form not to ask her out. To avoid wasting your time in the future, keep your conversations short–15-20 minutes should do it.
2. You give out too much information.
The result of speaking on the phone too long before meeting is you may inadvertently pour out way too much personal info about yourself (personal info that maybe you shouldn’t). Before you decide to exchange numbers with someone you met online, decide what information and topics you’re willing to discuss and what you are not willing to discuss. Feel free to be honest and tell the other person that you don’t know them well enough to divulge certain information.
Your first telephone conversation should really be about getting a general feel for each other to see if the conversation flows well enough to carry it out in person. Nothing more than that.
3. You wait too long to take the relationship offline.
Some people spend weeks, even months, emailing or phoning their prospective date. Of course, you should absolutely only meet a person if you feel ready.
Yet at the same time, you will only really know a person when you meet them face-to-face. Online chemistry does not always translate to offline chemistry, and it is better to find this out sooner rather than later. Not forgetting, you don’t know exactly what the other person looks like till you meet them in real life.
Emailing and phone calls shouldn’t continue for more than a week or two (max). If after that time you are still unsure about the person, find someone else you are comfortable chatting with, always listen to your gut.
4. You only talk to one person at a time.
Dating means just that, dating! Don’t be under any false illusions that if you do speak to, email or go on dates with more than one person at a time that you are being immoral or dishonest or cheating in anyway.
You should speak to three or four people at a time; the individuals you feel most drawn to… go on dates with them. Cheating is only possible if you’re in a relationship. At this stage, you’re not in a real relationship with anybody. You only transition to the relationship stage after you’ve met them, are a few weeks into a dating them, and have communicated to each other about your status.
As I said before, online dating can be the freshest and fastest way to join in the dating game, but keep these tips in mind to save yourself a whole lot of time and unnecessary stress.
[image: via pixabay]