in: Dating & Relationships

Are We Exclusive? When to Snooze Your Profile

As a MeetMindful user, you may have had the itch to snooze your profile for one reason or another. Here’s a guide to help you decide if it’s really time.

I’m so grateful I have the privilege of writing about this topic. I hear quite a bit of confusion about this subject, which leaves people with hurt feelings, frustrated, and wondering. Let’s not wonder anymore!

It’s true, people can get a bit nutty about this topic, so let’s clarify a few things to make it easier on you.

First, let’s talk about three reasons you could snooze your online dating profile. Later, we’ll deep dive into how to determine if you’re “exclusive” with someone so you’re on the same page. Isn’t that the goal!?!?

Consider snoozing your own profile if:

1. You are too busy meeting many people.

Maybe you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by meeting a lot of people. Perhaps you do not want more incoming emails and interest from others. This could be a good reason to snooze your profile. It can be a good idea to focus on a few people rather than trying to take on too much and not doing anything well. When that’s what’s going on, you might have to start over because of stress. I’ve been there before.

2. You’ve met someone who sparks your interest.

Perhaps you’ve met someone who piques your interest and makes you curious. You’d like to see where it goes without distractions like other emails coming in. You choose to snooze your profile because you want to and not for any other reason.

3. You and a special someone have talked about and agreed to snooze your profiles.

The problem comes in when one person snoozes their profile and the other person doesn’t. The danger comes in when the snoozed person looks at the other person’s profile and they are still active. It leaves the first person upset and wondering what’s happening. How can this scenario be avoided? Easily.

Never assume anything. We all know what “assuming” does—making an “a** out of you and me.” I have been there many times and am now a stickler about clarification and crystal clear communication. People get in trouble when they “think” they are in an exclusive relationship and they are not.

First, have a conversation with the person you’re dating. If you both want to get to just get to know each other, talk about snoozing your profiles. If you both agree to date only each other, discuss when you want to snooze your profiles. Yes, get clear about when you’ll do it so it doesn’t cause miscommunication.

I hear time and time again about someone getting upset because they have snoozed their profile and are off the market while the other person is still actively looking. To prevent this, be sure you are both very clear that you each want to snooze your profiles and by when you will have done so. Again, it will avoid hurt feelings and unnecessary frustration. It’s like both people doing a post on Facebook around the same time about “being in a relationship.”

Before having a conversation with someone about snoozing both of your profiles, consider these important questions.

  • Is this person someone I want to get know and put my sole focus on?
  • Is this person a potential life-partner for me?
  • Am I willing to take a risk and go “all-in” with someone out of what’s possible in the relationship?

When I first met my husband in Cancun, Mexico, he was online dating. We both said “yes” to being in an exclusive relationship together after a week of knowing each other. We chose to jump all-in, not because we didn’t think there were other options out there, but because we wanted to see where this could go. It was a big risk, but worth it, and I’m very happy I took it. I love being married to him.

Most people do not enjoy the dating scene and having to go on dates to meet “the one.” Yet, it’s part of the process to find love. If you’re interested in being exclusive with someone, get agreement on both sides to snooze your profiles and by when it will be done. Remember, crystal clear communication is the key to any healthy relationship.


[image: via shutterstock]

About the Author:

Suzanne Muller-Heinz

Suzanne Muller-Heinz is a global Dating & Love Life Coach with a special talent for helping smart singles figure out the formula to having a tender, thoughtful and healthy relationship. She is the author of Loveable: 21 Practices For Being In A Loving & Fulfilling Relationship and one of the co-authors of the international bestselling book, Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life. If you are a successful professional in every area of life except dating and love, and you hunger for a healthy love life, connect with her at Happy Living Forever.


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