Your vision of love will only be attained by your own terms, Darling. Stop seeking approval and start creating the life (and love!) you were meant to have.
This is a love story about you.
This is a love story about the tough ties you have to break—the belief systems you inherited from your parents or anyone else from your original family that you have to let go of in order to finally become an adult who believes in yourself; someone who believes in your own vision of love, and no longer afraid to realize it, for yourself.
Looking back on your fabulous life, do these memories look familiar to you?
When you were a baby, your parents believed you could survive. You read it in their eyes, and you believed it too. You did it.
When you were a toddler, your parents believed you could walk and talk. You heard it in their voices, and you believed it too. You did it.
When you were in school, your parents believed you could excel. You saw it in their smiles, and you believed it too. You did it!
When you became an adult, your parents believed you could… and here’s where your visions started to diverge. Perhaps your parents believed you could get a good-enough job, find a good-enough spouse, live a good-enough life and enjoy a good-enough retirement, just like they have done. But you…you were starting to see other visions, you were starting to make other plans. And your parents…they could no longer believe in you for those things—frankly, often because they have never experienced those things themselves.
For the first time in your life, and probably for a long time to come, you became so confused. You knew in your heart that you want a bigger life, and deeper love—you didn’t want to just get a job, you wanted to pursue you passions; you didn’t want to just get married, you wanted to find your soulmate who would connect with you emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and together you would fulfill each other’s life purposes. But you were afraid, because your parents could no longer support you in that endeavor.
You looked ahead, and two roads diverge—one that had been well-walked by your parents and many other people in your life, and the other one, interesting, adventurous, but much less traveled.
If you took the first road, you would have your whole life planned out for you, and your parents would be going with you, cheering you on (just like before), every step of the way.
If you took the second road, you would have to figure it out yourself. Your parents and other people in your life might not be happy. They might still love you, and you might still love them, but they might stop believing in you, they might stop cheering you on, they might not go with you.
Which road would you take?
Well, since you are here on MeetMindful, and you are reading this article, I’m guessing you took the second road.
Bravo. Congratulations on joining this journey of living a bigger life and deeper love through continuous learning, raising your self-awareness, and increasing your capacity to love.
“Two roads diverged in a road, and I – I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.” —Robert Frost
Once you took this road, you realized that, before you made the switch, those moments when you thought you believed in yourself…you weren’t really fully believing in yourself, you were primarily seeking approval from your parents’ beliefs of what you could do or become.
For those who have not done it already, now is the time to let go of your parents’ beliefs of what you could do or become, and start to fully believe in yourself. This is necessary for you to realize your own vision of love, because when you believe in yourself and your own vision of love:
- You start taking full responsibility for your words and actions, and how they affect you and the people in your life. This is the very foundation of love.
- You become creative, persuasive, and powerful beyond measure to call in the love you want. Because finally, you realize no one is going to cut you slack or pick up your mess; finally, you realize no one is going to vouch for you in your vision of love to the extent you will for yourself; and finally, you are ready to put yourself fully out there, and go get what you want in love, no matter what.
- You become fully aware of what you have to offer, as well as your own true wants and needs in love, and you are no longer afraid to stand by them. You may finally realize you and your partner no longer have to fit into arbitrary models others have long imposed on you. You may no longer define love as a ‘thing’ to get or as a place to hide out, and start defining love as a creative action that you are free to choose in any moment. As such, your life will be forever full of love.
What are some of the beliefs you inherited from your parents that no longer fit into your vision of love? Are you ready to let them go, and finally start believing in yourself and your vision of love, completely?
About the Author
Keira Peng is the Founder of WeLove, a premium Love and Lifestyle coaching service that helps singles find love with better online profiles, better interactions, better real life dates, and better relationships. She’s helped thousands of singles improve their dating life and find their dream partners. Connect with Keira through her website.