While there are many, many ways to end a relationship… we’re quite find of “kind” and “honest.” Read on and you’ll see what we mean.
—This article was originally published by our friends at elephant journal; we’re republishing (with permission!) because we love it… and them. Enjoy.—
Being vulnerable in the dating world is a hallmark of strength. However, when we’re there in that vulnerability, it doesn’t feel strong. It feels fragile and precarious. It feels like we can be easily broken.
Yet, just the fact that we can keep putting ourselves out there, again and again, is evidence of how strong and resilient we are.
My story is not unique. I got married young, divorced with kids in my early 30s, and now find myself thrown back into the shark-infested pools of the dating world.
The first toe I dipped in was with someone I already knew, and I narrowly avoided a negative situation. You see, his idea of a relationship was keeping about 10 different women on call, telling each of us how special we were. When I noticed all the things that didn’t add up and confronted him, it quickly came to an end.
Fast-forward through conversations and meetings, a few dates canceled due to glaring red flags, and being stood up a couple times, and the first actual date went well. It led to a second date, and a third and into a relationship, though God knows we didn’t call it that.
I went from being the girl who never falls to falling for this guy. And falling so hard.
And being let down.
Not because he didn’t love me back—no, I didn’t really expect him to. After all, we hadn’t known each other long, and I wasn’t eager to rush into anything serious. I was let down because he couldn’t be honest with me and chose to be unkind and disappear from my life rather than telling me he just didn’t feel the same.
Then I put myself out there again. Conversations. Introductions. Dates and more dates.
And I met someone else.
This time I didn’t fall, but I sure did trip a little. We’ve all been there, right? When we meet someone we genuinely like, it’s easy to stumble a bit even if we don’t fall. And as seems epidemic with so many men in their 30s and 40s, honesty wasn’t in his essential makeup unless convenient (my apologies to the men who actually practice honest communication). Instead of leveling with me, he canceled plans, said he’d call and never did.
Here’s the thing (and this is for men and women alike). We can take hints. We can even handle honesty. But no one would know this anymore, because so few people actually attempt it.
I know that confrontation is hard…
Follow us to elephant journal to continue reading “Kind & Honest Ways to End a Relationship” and have a happy day.
About the Author\
Crystal Jackson is a contributor with elephant journal, a divorced mom of toddlers, and her interests include writing, reading, running, practicing mindfulness, and finding balance as an empath. Crystal is a former family therapist and now works part-time for a consulting firm. You can connect with Crystal on Facebook.