in: dating + single

What You Need to Know at the Start of a New Relationship

Your most recent date seems like the perfect fit; but before this new interest becomes a new relationship, you should know a few things first.


It’s a common misconception that self-improvement needs to happen while you’re by yourself. Your relationships with others are vital to your growth. Only through your experiences with friends and lovers will you know how you react emotionally in certain situations and whether you are proud of those reactions or determined to change them. Either way, human interaction is a necessary part of your development, but there are a few things to consider before you fully engage your next potential partner.

You’re Probably Not Perfect

Don’t take it as an insult. Nobody is perfect. There would be no great relationships if you had to be flawless to achieve such a feat, but understanding yourself and your imperfections will allow you to enter a relationship without emotional dependencies. You cannot make any lover, especially a new one, feel as though he or she is responsible for your stability.

Before starting a new romance, be honest with yourself about where you stand emotionally and sexually, and communicate these standpoints to your partner. As the relationship moves forward, be conscious of your emotional reactions to the events that take place, and take notice if your reactions are those of the person you want to be or if they are signals that there is room to evolve. It is important to know your tendencies and how they affect you. Whatever you are learning about yourself throughout this process, it is imperative to share your discoveries with your companion so he or she can support your growth.

Don’t Put the Cart Before the Horse

Emotional intimacy should lead to physical intimacy, not the other way around. You cannot replace mutual appreciation and respect for each other with sex in hope that your libidos will foster love. When you are getting to know someone new, allow yourselves enough time to evaluate whether or not you genuinely care about each other before you take the relationship to the bedroom.

You want to admire the person you are with. You need to be prepared to ask yourself if the person you are dating is the type of person you can love and grow with. If the answer to that question is no, you might want to stop the relationship before it reaches the level of physical intimacy. A meaningful emotional union can lead to a great sexual relationship, but it usually does not happen in reverse. If the answer to that question is yes, than by all means make love.

For more of what you need to know before you take another shot at love, click here.

[image: via Chris Schmauch on flickr]

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