When you imagine your dream partner, someone who is negative probably doesn’t come to mind. So how do you handle this situation? Allana’s back to dish.
Question: What do you do when you are with someone who is so determined to NOT be happy? He is such an amazing guy, but he has high “hi’s” and low “lo’s.”
Answer:
Couple ways to look at this, Love.
The video goes into more details, yet from one point of view… what would it take for you to be OK that he’s determined NOT to be happy? What would it take for you to be in allowance of it (not agreement, not preferring it).
I’m sensing he does it for attention.
That may sound weird, yet for me growing up, when my Dad was drunk, I’d protect myself from being lectured by giving him a problem to solve. I’d become a victim and he’d save me and I’d escape the ranting.
Yet then, I started creating problems in my life to feel loved/safe, but I wouldn’t let myself be happy for any length of time before sabotaging it.
The good news: if this is what’s happening, it’s deeply ingrained, yet can be changed.
The other point of view I’d like us to look at is why is he—Mr. Hi and Low—attractive to you? I know you’re probably thinking, but I’m NOT attracted to this… but you chose him… so on a subconscious level, you are. I’d get curious about why… what does it feed in you?
These are deep question, yet this is MeetMindful and you folks are pretty conscious, so I know you can sink your teeth into it. And I know that you’re also conscious enough to ask for help and receive support. So if you’d like to see if you’re a fit for my coaching program to heal this issue, which may even be a pattern for you, I’d love to connect. Email my [email protected] Subj: Meetmindful sent me/He’s not happy! and let’s create some change, Sister!
So much love, Allana xoxoxox
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