in: Intentional Living

Why Do We Want What We Can’t Have? With Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt

Our intimacy expert is back with a question that plagues nearly all of us: why do we want what we can’t have? Allana Pratt delivers another solid response.

QUESTION: Why do we want what we can’t have?

For the past 17 years, when I coach amazing yet unfulfilled people, whenever they have a trend of “wanting what they can’t have,” one of three things is going on inside:

1. It keeps them safe, guaranteeing failure, no risk for intimacy
2. Low self-esteem from believing they’re not good enough
3. It’s boring, they’re addicted to the chase, finding value in seeking not in the having

These are pretty insidious behaviors and beliefs that seep into every area of their life, yet predominantly personal relationships where the perception is that they have the most to risk, the greatest chance of getting hurt.

The solution would be to first and foremost listen to your language…. Wanting what I can’t have presupposes you can’t have it so you’ve shot yourself in the foot before we’ve even begun!

Next, safety from the outside in is an illusion. True safety always comes from within and is about connecting to Source and coming to peace with all parts of yourself, even the sweet scared part.

Next, you are enough. Yet this is one of most common limiting beliefs of our time when our worth is wrongly determined by our outside accomplishments. You are a child of the Universe, perfectly imperfect, unique and glorious. Period. How do you embody that and not just repeat affirmations that don’t work? Call me.

Next, being addicted to the chase which pushes away the having of love and replaces it with the seeking of love is usually a running away from pain inside that hasn’t been processed. Once this anger, sadness, fear, shame has learned the gift, the lesson and integrated it into the body, mind and spirit… the addiction ceases to have control. And you are finally the space to have that which you’ve always desired.

How do I know? I’m personally on the other side because as a coach, I walk my talk! And I’ve facilitated hundreds of people stepping into authentic confidence, openness, connection to Source, feeling orgasmically joyful and alive.. and attracting the most compatible delicious partner (or job/career/location/lifestyle) beyond their imagination.

Get to know me by signing up at for my complementary weekly Radio Show Intimate Conversations LIVE. And if you know this issue of wanting what you can’t have is in the way of meeting your beloved and having the life you know is possible, then sign up right now for a one hour private love-life-changing session with me a As a friend of Meetmindful, use the code “friend” for a substantial discount.

Healing any belief that says you can’t have something, means your whole life will change and you’ll be able to have all that you desire in love, work, money, dreams… what a beautiful gift to give yourself, yes?

Huge blessings, Allana xoox

About the Author:

Allana Pratt

Featured on CBS, TLC, FOX, coach to celebrities, a cum laude graduate of Columbia, Allana’s a single mom who battled an internal war of body shame and sexual guilt that destroyed her confidence, joy and softness. Now, author of three books, she pole dances for pleasure, and knows ‘When mama’s happy, everybody’s happy!’ She inspires women to embrace their sacred erotic nature to attract all the love and attention they choose and heals men’s emasculated hearts, cures their ‘nice guy’ and awakens their noble badass honoring of women.Thousands flock to her sexy empowering show Intimate Conversations LIVE. She’s here to end sexual violence on the planet, have stupid amounts of joy as a mother, ooze sensuality and inspire reverence for our exquisite sexual nature.


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