When it comes to self care, we think any yoga practice is a good yoga practice. As it turns out, it’s not just good for you, it’s good for your romance too.
“I’d love to get in more yoga, but I just don’t have time now that I’m in a relationship.”
“I feel guilty taking time away from my partner to do things for myself.”
I often hear comments like these from my coaching clients. On the surface, they sound pretty convincing, don’t they?
But forging authentic intimacy with another human being can be a wild ride, and if we go about it mindlessly, it can be very un-grounding.
Self-care isn’t a luxury or something to feel guilty about—especially if you want a healthy relationship.
In fact, healthy self-care is an imperative foundation of healthy relationships.
Yes, of course it’s important to make sure you set aside quality time to spend with your partner.
But if you’re feeling drained and disconnected from yourself, you’re much more likely to get triggered by your partner and lash out or project in unhelpful ways.
If your reserves are depleted, you have so much less to give to your relationship. And when we come from a place of lack rather than abundance, the wheels of kindness and generosity (cornerstones of healthy intimacy) can really come off.
So any regular self-care practices you commit to toward dialing back your own reactivity is profound for a healthy relationship.
But yoga is a one-stop shop for so many relationship-supportive qualities.
A regular yoga practice:
- Connects you to yourself. And when you’re centered within yourself, you’re less likely to be reactive, defensive, and judgey with your partner.
- Is grounding. So you don’t have to fly off the handle in heated moments.
- Builds your capacity to be present. And the present moment is the only place authentic communication and genuine intimacy can occur.
- Nudges you out of your comfort zone. And true intimacy only opens up once we’re willing to get uncomfortable.
- Trains you to keep your equanimity. Weathering a wobbly Tree Pose builds your capacity to handle shaking in your boots as you open up to new levels of vulnerability with your partner.
- Dials back judgment. Less judgment equals more intimacy.
- Is heart-opening. You know those “heart openers” your yoga teacher puts you into? Imagine the ripple effect of a more open heart in your relationship.
- Opens up the compassion channels. Expanding through your yoga practice opens up connection potential on the home front.
- Gets kundalini energy flowing. Which can lead to more action and connection in the bedroom.
- Gives you quiet / alone time. So when you reengage with your love you’ll see them with clearer eyes and renewed appreciation.
- Makes you feel strong. Which is essential for weathering the inevitable ups and downs of love.
- Plugs you into gratitude. Looking at your partner through the eyes of abundance rather than lack is an intimacy game-changer.
- Gets endorphins flowing. The better you feel, the more goodness you’ll be able to contribute to your partnership.
- Nurtures generosity. When you’re feeling filled up, giving overflows effortlessly.
- Just feels good. And when you show yourself how much nurturing you can give to yourself, you’re likely to put more reasonable expectations on your partner of what they “should” be giving you.
Our yoga mats are training grounds for staying centered out in the “real world,” and life doesn’t get any more real than in the boat-rocking, edge-nudging realm of intimate relationships.
So get clear on the style and frequency of yoga that makes realistic sense for you and show up on your mat. You and your partner will thank you for it.
Cheers to love overflowing from your filled-up well. Namaste.