Being single must be fascinating to your family. Kyriel Manzo explores why it’s the only explanation for their intrusive comments at the Thanksgiving table.
The holidays are rapidly approaching. It’s exciting because for most of us, we get to see people we lose touch with throughout the year. It’s about love and getting together and no matter what holiday you’re celebrating, it’s sure to be warm and fun and hopefully happy. But… there is a dark side of the holiday season. The prying, the snooping, the nosiness, the interrogation… the extended family is here. If you’re single be prepared to face quite an inquisition regarding your Facebook relationship status. Take a deep breath and laugh a little. Plus, if you’re a MeetMindful member, you’re already one step closer to being in love next Thanksgiving (and maybe even bringing your love home next Thanksgiving).
1) Are you seeing someone? (followed by concerned looks when you say “no”)
You might be temped to snap, “Get off my back, Grandma. Jeeze.” Hold back. Your family doesn’t know any better. They assume that single = lonely/unhappy. They don’t realize there’s even a possibility that you enjoy being single. The older the relatives, the less they understand being unmarried anytime after 23. Be prepared for them to diagnose your single-ness. It’s usually mildly insulting and mentions your clothing or sub par haircut. Ignore. Smile. Repeat.
2) “You’re getting a little old not to be settled down yet.”
It’s funny how you didn’t invite anyone to critique your life choices and then, BAM, one of your uncles lashes out with this comment. You probably start wondering if it’s inappropriate to mention his new toupee and how it hasn’t “settled down yet” either. Take a deep breath and realize that you can settle down at any age. It’s useless to lower your standards or “settle” when deciding on a life partner. You probably already know this but it’s just a reminder. You are fine. Imagine the toupee sliding into the mashed potatoes. Ignore. Smile. Repeat.
3) “What do you mean? You’re not sure if you want kids?”
For some reason, family and extended family are obsessed with the status of whether or not you want children. They assume children are the only way to seal the deal on your future of happiness and fulfillment. When you step back from the situation, it’s kind of funny how family and friends are concerned with what comes out of your genitals. They honestly think they are trying to help you and will usually try to change your mind. Do not think twice about their comments. The only people involved in the decision regarding children are you and your future partner. Watch their children draw on the furniture and wipe boogers on their parents’ cashmere sweaters. Ignore. Smile. Repeat.
4) “Seconds? Thirds? You’re never going to meet someone if you can’t button your pants.”
The status of your caloric intake is no one’s business. Unless your MeetMindful match that you’ve been messaging is coming over for pie on the first date, there is no reason you can’t eat, drink and be merry. Who said maternity pants can’t be worn to harness your Thanksiving food baby? This is usually directed at women because unfortunately there is still a stigma regarding food and weight. Spend your Thanksgiving doing whatever and eating whatever you want. It shouldn’t be a day to worry about trivial things like the fact that putting gravy on your pumpkin pie is frowned upon. Live a little. It’s the ultimate cheat day. Ignore. Smile. Take a bite. Repeat.
5) “You’re single? I should set you up with (so and so)…”
Even though they have the best intentions, family will often offer to set you up, believing that you’ll fall in love with the person they have in mind based on little to no information or commonalities. They will say things like:
“You’re gay? I know a gay guy that works in my office! I should set you guys up.”
“You’re still single? There’s a young lady that makes my coffee that you would love. How old are you now? 31? Great…I think she’s 18. I’ll find out!”
“You’re 29 and single? My friend’s nephew is 29. I’ll set you two up!”
What a nightmare. They could be the love of your life, but they are usually unavailable or completely wrong for you. Your family (in all kindness) must assume you don’t meet anyone your age or desired sex and that’s why you’re single. Politely decline (or accept…you never know) and check MeetMindful for new matches in your area. Ignore your loving family’s comments regarding your sex and dating life. Smile. Repeat.