Absence makes the heart grow fonder, yeah… but long distance relationships can also be really hard. Solution: Jordan Gray has tips for long distance love.
Whether you’re playing dueling time zones, trying to schedule your next phone call, or just miss cuddling up with your significant other, it can often feel like a challenge to maintain an emotional and sexual connection while engaging in a long distance relationship.
But with a few easy-to-implement tools you can not only save, but grow the connection you feel in your intimate relationship while being physically apart from each other.
Here are five ways to make your long distance relationship work.
1. Point Out the Finish Line
Depending on the nature of your situation, one of the most difficult parts about long distance relationships is the uncertainty surrounding when you’ll be seeing each other again.
As frequently as is possible for your long distance relationship, name the non-negotiable date that you’ll be in each others presence again.
Schedules, finances, and particulars will undoubtedly influence the frequency of how often you are able to see each other, but having a certain deadline as to when you’ll see each again makes the distance much more bearable.
2. Build Emotional Connection
The emotional connection you experience in your relationship can not only sustain but thrive during the long distance phases of your relationship.
Long distance relationships force you to get creative about how you express your love and affection for your partner.
Send texts and emails daily. Surprise them with flowers or (snail mail) love letters as intermittent surprises. And have phone calls or Skype dates as often as you wish.
Since the invention of video calling you can even watch your favorite TV shows or movies together at the same time.
3. Prioritize Your Sex Life
Just because you can’t touch your partner doesn’t mean that you are off the hook when it comes to being intentional about your relationship‘s sex life.
You can show sexual availability to your partner by having sex dates on Skype, or sending them unexpected nude shots.
Worried that taking nude shots of yourself and sending them to your lover could be dangerous? Well, so is loving someone in the first place. So is everything if you look at it hard enough. Trust your partner enough to know that they wouldn’t ever do anything with it (other than what it’s intended for).
4. Embrace the Time Apart
Time apart often means more time for yourself. Use this time that’s being afforded to you by working on yourself and improving your life.
Maybe you have some close friends that you need to invest some time into. Maybe there’s a movie that you’ve been dying to see that your partner wasn’t that excited about. Or maybe you’ve been wanting to get back in shape and your gym pass has been feeling neglected.
Whatever you fill your time with, I’m sure there’s been something in your life that you’ve been neglecting and (just like your partner during your phone calls) it could use your undivided attention.
5. Ask “Does This Serve the Relationship?”
Be intentional about structuring your life around your relationship.
Because phone calls can sometimes be few and far between, make sure that you commit to date night plans in your schedule that won’t be broken. Another benefit to these calls is that there isn’t any need to talk about boring chit-chat because you know how precious your phone time can sometimes be.
If your friends ask you to go out for dinner with them on a night that you have a phone date planned with your partner, don’t blow it off in favor of your friends. Just because one of them has you physically around people doesn’t mean that it should take priority over your partner. Treat your date nights with your partner as just as important, if not more so, as your plans with people in the real world.
And on an even higher level of planning, if your cash flow is tight, you might want to consider where your money is going. One or two nights out at a restaurant per week with your local friends could mean an extra round trip plane ticket each month to see your sweetie. So ask yourself “Does this serve the relationship? Does this choice bring me closer towards or further away from seeing my love?”
Your Long Distance Relationship Doesn’t Need To Suffer
In many ways, the feeling of missing someone is a gift. You don’t realize how much you miss your partner until they aren’t tangibly in your life every day.
So be thankful for the opportunity to be shown how much you care for your significant other.
When you do see each other again make sure to clear your schedule. Get all of your work, grooming and lifestyle stuff out of the way and just dive into them.
It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. So if it’s been a while, you’ll want to probably want to leave your phone on silent for the next few days… or weeks.
[image: via MsSaraKelly on flickr]
This post originally appeared at JordanGrayConsulting.com in partnership with the Good Men Project.