in: Dating & Relationships

Are We All Bi-Sexual & Just Don’t Realize It?

We love who we love. It’s (sometimes) maddening, and (always) magical. But re-examining attraction… we’re left wondering: are we all bi-sexual?

—This article was originally published by our friends at elephant journal; we’re republishing (with permission!) because we love it… and them. Enjoy.— 

*Author’s note: This is just my own opinion, some thoughts I wanted to put out there to create dialogue and to encourage those who have limited beliefs to think outside the box a little. If anyone has alternative opinions or beliefs, I would love for them to write an article with their thoughts on this to open my mind further and encourage communication on this subject. This article is in no way meant to offend anyone, it is just my inner mind unravelling, and I do understand that maybe this thinking is a little ahead of its time—and I accept that. I have written many previous articles in full loving support of the LGBT community and will continue to raise awareness for equality for all areas for as long as I live! I write to push boundaries and challenge thinking a little where possible, it doesn’t mean I am right or wrong, it is just giving some food for thought and it is open to discussion.

June 26, 2015 marked a day of huge celebration not just in America, but worldwide.

Finally, finally, finally the U.S. recognized that one love, one union and the constitution of marriage is not a privilege, it is an equal right for all human beings, and although it has taken quite some time for many to catch on and realize this, attitudes and laws are finally changing.

I don’t identify as gay and I don’t live in the U.S. However, my heart was beaming the whole of the day, it was bursting at the seams and then it grew a little more.

I have long been an advocate for the LGBT community. I have many friends and a couple of family members who identify as either being lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, or transgender. It is not a “choice,” as some believe, it is who they are, and they deserve to live their lives true to who they are on the inside without receiving any interference or having rules and regulations tell them how they should or shouldn’t be living on the outside.

“Live true to our authentic selves,” isn’t that what the world over-preaches? Yet, when so many try to do this they are shamed, blamed, ostracized and often subjected to acts of aggression or violence.

Despite what anyone thinks, says, or tries to argue, their reasons for judging others all boil down to the same thing: narrow mindsets, fear, and discrimination.

People live in fear of the unknown and are afraid of what they do not understand—terrified, even.

When they are fearful, they put up defenses and try to attack the cause of it. I do not justify it, although I often see it as being an instinctive reaction, similar to our immune system; when something enters that it does not understand, it immediately prepares to protect and to fight. However, that uncomfortable feeling does not mean something is wrong, it just means we need to pry open our minds, take a look at our reactions, and discover what is within ourselves that is causing this fear.

What people are failing to realize is that when they slam something down without taking a look at it first, they are risking the opportunity of being able to explore something that has the potential to be incredibly beautiful.

People are hidden treasures. They really are. Because there is nothing more captivating, enchanting, breathtaking, and attractive than a person who is comfortable with who they are and who is brave and vulnerable enough to peel back their skin and show what is radiating underneath—their soul.

Although I identify with being straight, I sometimes question how limited my own view is.

Yes, I am attracted to men. However, surely it is the uniqueness, quirks, and traits of someone’s true being that is what is really attractive? Physically, I find both men and women beautiful. However, when someone shows me what others are afraid to unveil—their natural, genuine and absolute authentic self—it stops me in my tracks and my heart beats wildly.

This celebration of gay marriage has not only given me a great sense of hope for the future, it has also made me question myself a little more, and realize that there is far more to all of this than I believe a lot of us are willing to see.

Yes, we are initially attracted to looks, but when those fade, it is the souls that bond and create a deep love. We are often nurtured and conditioned to believe that man should attract woman and woman should attract man. And when anything goes against this, it rubs a lot of people the wrong way and ruffles feathers.

Now, I’m not discounting that there are stronger attractions to certain sexes. Millions of people find deep love and are only attracted to either the male or female body and mind and find no attraction at all in the opposite or same sex, and I totally understand that.

However, when we are all a mixture of masculine and feminine deep in our core selves, are some of us limiting ourselves by placing physical attractions over soulful ones?

Minds are opening, and I absolutely adore Miley Cyrus for saying that she doesn’t identify with either being male or female and that she does not need a partner of hers to identify with either sex either.

A lot of people are constantly willing to shut Miley Cyrus down for attention seeking and requiring media attention and validation. However, when we look closer, we will just see one famous person who lives under the spotlight, and anything she does will attract a heap of attention—so living a life totally outside of the “normal” box is for sure going to throw her under the radar. And that, in my opinion, is amazing


Follow us over to elephant journal to continue reading “Are We All Bi-Sexual & Just Don’t Realize It?” and have a happy day.  

About the Author

alex mylesAlex Myles is a contributor with elephant journal. She is qualified as a Yoga teacher, Reiki Master, Teacher of Tibetan Meditation, Dragon Magic and a Spiritual coach to name just a few. Alex has no intention to teach others on a formal basis for many years to come, instead, she is collecting qualifications along with life’s lessons. One day, when the time is right, Alex will set up a quaint studio, in a quirky crooked building where she will breathe and appreciate the slowness of those days as life is just way too busy right now! Reading and writing has always been one of Alex’s passions. Alex likes to consider herself as a free spirit rather than a commitment-phobe. Trying to live as aligned to a Buddhist lifestyle as is possible in this day and age, she just does not believe in “owning” anything or anyone. Based on the theory that we ‘cannot lose someone that was not ours to lose’ she flails through life finding joy and magic in the most unexpected places. Mother to a 21 year old daughter and three adorable pups, she appreciates that some of the best moments in life are the 6am forest walks watching the dogs run, play and interact with one another and with nature. Connect with her on Facebook and check out her blog, Love and Madness. 

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