in: Dating & Relationships

How to Tell if You Have the Green Light to Date Again

Recovery from heartbreak has many stages, and recognizing which one you’re in will help you decide if you’re ready to date again.

If breaking up is hard to do, getting over a break-up is like recreating the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. There are no quick fixes, short answers or easy ways out, but there are signals that let you know whether you are ready to give love another try.

Recovering from heartache and feeling like yourself again can be a tedious journey. The healing process might take a long time, so you must be patient. Be sure that you have left your last relationship completely in the past. Consider what you have learned from it and how you have grown as a result of it. This evolution will undoubtedly help you going forward. You cannot subscribe to the theory that time heals all wounds; even if you put years between lovers, your feelings for your ex could sabotage your relationship with your current partner.

Depending on where you are in the healing process, you can gauge whether or not to move forward with a new love interest. So which tendencies of coping with heartbreak illustrate how to tell you have the green light to date again?

In her recent article for Yoganonymous, Dr. Kristen Hick, Psy.D., lets us know how to follow the signals, when to put love on hold and when we are green lit to begin a new relationship.

Recognizing when the light is green comes by considering four elements of getting over an ex.

Emotionally, you want to be at a point where you seldom think of your old lover; and when you do it’s in a positive way, appreciating that person for what you shared and what you’ve learned from your experience together.

As far as contact with your former partner, you want to neither seek it out nor avoid it.

In the realm of coping with the break-up, you want your feelings to be resolved and you should be living in a manner that promotes self-care and healthy activity.

Finally, you need to be evaluating potential companions on the basis of what you know you need from a partner rather than by comparing them to your previous lover and his or her good and bad qualities.

If you find that your stage of recovery sounds a lot like this, go ahead and step on the gas pedal. Your next relationship is right around the corner.

To learn how to recognize when you should keep your foot on the brake, click here.

[image: via Karolien Taverniers on flickr]

About the Author:


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