If your relationship is out of balance and you’re giving far more than you’re receiving, you may be dating a taker. Lucky you, Allana knows just want to do.
Question:
How do you deal with dating a taker? My boyfriend just constantly takes, takes, takes and doesn’t give anything in return. When we first started dating, he was the perfect gentleman; now that we live together, somehow our roles have reversed and he expects me to do everything. If he does take me somewhere and pays—don’t hold your breath on that one—he gripes about how much it costs and then I hear about how poor he is for days. Should I even stick around?
Answer:
Wow, you sound frustrated! It sounds like the honeymoon phase is over. This is honestly pretty typical of couples when they move in together… to change the way they behave because the courting is over and the old subconscious patterns take over.
Have you had a heart to heart about the ‘deal’ of living together? People’s roles, how money will be handled, how each other thrives on being loved? I would encourage you to clear the air with a “sandwich.”
The bread would be: Thank you for everything you do, like taking us out for dinner.
The meat and cheese would be: It would make me happy if we could find a way to that both of us feel appreciated for what we do and provide in the relationship. Perhaps we could make an agreement and understand more about what each other desires and expects of the other.
The other piece of bread would be: I am so grateful we can have this conversation because I’m committed to us coming closer and being even happier.
Seem a tall order given how much water is already under the bridge? That’s why God created me 😉 tee hee.
I hold a beautiful, honoring, safe space for both people feel heard, seen, gotten, understood by the other… sometimes in ways they’ve never been appreciated before, which leads to clarity, connection, compassion and effective solutions. Simply contact my manager@AllanaPratt.com and say “MeetMindful sent me” and sign up for a Strategy Session.
I wouldn’t throw any relationship out until you’ve done your work, evolved, cleaned up any messes, restored harmony; and if then you agree to disagree, bless and release one another. Yet in the evolution, many people fall more deeply in love than they could imagine, because the Universe brought them together to heal… and they did! I look forward to hearing from you.
Great love, Allana xoxo