in: Dating & Relationships

When Should We Move in Together?

So you’ve been dating for months, have weekend sleepovers, but can’t imagine spending another night apart. If you find yourself wondering, “when should we move in together?”… read on. This one’s for you.


The timeline for moving in together is different for every couple. While some might jump at the chance to cohabitate, others are content to live separately for years before considering getting a place together. If you think it might be time for you and your partner to make new, closer living arrangements, consider the following factors before making a final decision. 

1. You’re on the same page about the future

You’re serious enough that you have discussed the future at length and are confident that you both want the same things. There is no guarantee that things will turn out the way you want, but aiming for the same future goals as a couple and individually is important for the survival of your relationship.

2. You have great communication skills

It’s just a fact that you’re going to have some challenging moments, arguments and differences of opinion when you blend your home with your partner. Having amazing communication skills already in place will ensure that you will be able to work through these issues a lot easier. Remember that a huge part of communication is being a good listener, not just expressing yourself in the right way.

3. You’ve had the money talk

Problems with money is one of the number one things that ends relationships. Once you’re sharing responsibilities, your partner’s tendency to blow his/her paycheck in one weekend or love of expensive shoes might be something that drives you crazy. Having a talk about how you will organize your finances, who is responsible for what, and how you both feel about the arrangement will help to lessen money issues down the road.

It’s also important to remember that if you hate talking about money, you better get more comfortable with it. It will likely be an ongoing conversation as you get to know each other’s spending habits more intimately and as financial situations change.

4. You’ve built a life together… and apart.

You’re already totally invested in each other’s lives, you’ve met the friends and family, you know their quirks, flaws and good qualities. Having a life together is a really important factor in moving together, but when you close that gap of independence, it will also benefit you and the relationship to have a life apart from each other. Make sure you each have alone time for whatever you like to do and time to spend with friends and loved ones without the other person around.

5. You accept your partner for who he/she is.

We all claim to fully accept our partners, but when it comes down to it, many of us love them very much and also hope they will change a few key things about themselves. Before moving in together make sure that you can really accept your partner, flaws and all.

6. You’ve fought and made up many times before.

Living together is stressful, especially in the beginning when you’re still learning how to cohabitate. Before taking this step make sure you have already had a few significant fights that you have worked through in a positive, healthy way. You won’t be able to storm off to your place every time your partner upsets you, so you need to make sure you both know how to talk things out.

Moving in together is a big step in any relationship. If you have decided you’re ready, do one last thing and have a long talk with your partner about your expectations, why you’re moving in together, and what that is going to be like. 

[image: via jessica wilson {jek in the box} on flickr]

About the Author:

Meghan

Meghan Stone earned her Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work and Master’s of Education in Human Sexuality from Widener University. She has worked as a therapist, social worker, teen counselor, and sexuality educator. She currently resides in Buenos Aires, Argentina where she writes, teaches, and volunteers with the local community. Her passions are social work, travel, photography, art, yoga, and learning about other cultures.

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