in: Dating & Relationships

The Perks of Dating an Older Woman

Age is just a number, sure, but sometimes there are some perks when that number is a little higher. Check out why we think dating an older woman rules. 

Well, this topic is definitely right up my alley. As an “older woman” I find that my interests and hobbies have changed, my desire to partner with a long term someone is more discerning in attraction, and there is nothing better than humility and humor when it comes to dating and relationships.

Older women have a sense of things in this world, because they have lived and failed and picked themselves up, and had their hearts broken a thousand times, and don’t take any sh*t from anyone, and know what they want and where they are going. At least some of us do. We are a discerning population who doesn’t jump into a partnership with just anyone. We do our homework. We love to embrace and be wooed and evolve with another in such a way that makes the entire universe smile.

So where does that leave those choosing to date an older woman? One thing is for sure, we still believe that laughter and embracing our inner child goes a long way in life and love.

Dating an older woman requires ounces of contemplation. The process simply needs a great deal of respect. And by that I mean, if a younger man decides he has met the woman of his dreams, and she falls into the “cougar” status (I’m not a fan of that word, yet it still gets tossed around in the dating circles) then he had best be prepared to respect and be kind. It matters.

These are the perks of jumping into the pool of women who might be of advanced years, and are willing and ready to mix it up with a younger dude.

We don’t do drama. Been there, done that. If you are searching for something with salacious drama, you might want to continue onto women who haven’t yet learned that drama needs to be left at the door. Our plight consists of flawless conversation, with perhaps a smidge of audacity thrown into the mix.


When older women have experienced everything under the sun, and choose to continue in a realm of maturity and laughter, there is nothing more appealing than simplicity of living. We pare down our stuff to make room for another. We prefer the security of a man who knows how to please in the simplest of ways. And our purpose in life boils down to who you are, how are you doing emotionally, and can you still dance? This is the definition of simplicity to older women.

The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

Women over 40 have the gumption to explore and unnerve all that lies within their soul. What occupies residency in our souls is the spiritual, the mental, the physical, and the delicious capacity to understand that not every day is rosy and awesome. We desire all aspects of the psyche to undergo the metamorphosis needed to be a well-rounded human. If a younger man can’t handle it, then he certainly isn’t ready for an older woman’s heart. We want it all, and then some.

Gumption in the Bedroom

Yes, we have tried most everything imaginable in the intimate department with our lovers. We might even have a thing or two to teach our younger mates, yet we are always willing to be the student as well. Show us that you can go the creative distance, and we’ll be sidled up with you for the long haul, because surely our wisdom and know-how in the sexual realm creates an atmosphere of scrumptious delights all over the house!


An older woman isn’t worthy unless she can negotiate and compromise. There is no longer an ability to just go along with everything her younger counterpart decides. We want to beam with beauty and purpose when we sense that our age difference togetherness has an element of 50/50 in every sense of the word. We love to negotiate, we don’t always want conflict, and if there is a likely chance that we meet head-to-head on some issue, the resolution will always have peaceful negotiations. We have a solid brain between our ears, and we delightfully put it to tangible use.


Many older women have had their children, might be empty nesters, and want to travel and see the world. Bucket lists from our childhood years are now ready to be embarked upon. We want to sink our teeth into a place with fervor. The best piece of traveling with an older woman is the ability to be low maintenance. No makeup. No multiple bags of clothing to have a certain style. And we still enjoy peeing in the woods. (Okay, that might be a personal thing, but still…) Go with an older woman on an adventure and you’ll never regret the uniqueness of her resplendence.

There are a host of other perks I might have forgotten, and that is something an older woman has to continually massage, her memory (insert laughter!) If you have the patience and the presence, a woman who has embraced her own aging process with integrity is probably one of the most enjoyable relationships you’ll ever have the pleasure of knowing. We care about our health and we love to love. Boom!

[image: via shutterstock]

About the Author:

Gerry Ellen

Gerry Ellen is an author, creative storyteller, and wellness advocate. She enjoys sharing her experiences of life, love, and all things meaningful and healthy through words and images. She is a regular contributor to MeetMindful, Be You Media Group, Tattooed Buddha, and Rebelle Society. As a former featured columnist on elephant journal and Light Workers World, she considers her love of nature and the outdoors, heart-centered connections, friends and family, and traveling to explore and expand as the epicenter of her world. She is extremely driven with her service work through 8 Paws Wellness with her dog, Scout. Gerry Ellen has authored and published two books, Ripple Effects (March 2012) and A Big Piece of Driftwood (April 2014), which are both available on


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