in: Dating & Relationships

How to Find Love: 6 Steps to Create Your Soulmate “List”

Creating a Soulmate List will help you clarify your values, guide your head and heart and, ultimately, help the Universe show you how to find love.

Ever feel like dating is one gigantic waste of time? Like you’re running in circles and making no progress whatsoever?

Try creating a Soulmate List—it will help you clarify your values and serve as the North Star for your head and heart as you GPS your way through a date.

You’ve been there before, sitting across the table from a first date. You’re chatting about the weather and your jobs, and it’s going okay, although in the back of your mind you’re wondering: Where’s the spark?

You smile toward the end of the date and consider saying, We should do this again, but you know you don’t really want that to happen. And you can’t help but feel a little frustrated. Another failed date. Wasted time.

I get it. I’ve been there. I felt way on occasion—until I made my List.

Creating and keeping in mind my Soulmate List has dramatically reduced the wasted time I used to spend dating. In fact, dating has again become pretty fun. When you know what you want, you’re more likely to get it.

How to Create Your Soul Mate List

1. Make it a ritual. Don’t rush the process. Take your time and make it special. Buy some beautiful paper and get a fancy pen. Light a candle and put on your favorite music. When you’ve set the mood, think and feel who your soulmate is, the qualities the person brings.

2. Start with your past. Think about past relationships. Brainstorm the qualities you were attracted to in previous partners.

  • What did you love about the person?
  • What commonalities do you notice among the people you’ve dated?
  • What attracted you physically, mentally, and emotionally?

Try not to focus on the negatives. Even though the relationship ended, there were reasons you were together. Learn from these reasons as you move forward.

3. Visualize your future. What’s the lifestyle you want to manifest? Picture it and note the feelings that arise. Be specific.

  • Do you want children? How many?
  • How will you spend your weekends—outdoors, at art galleries, working around the house?
  • What are your deal breakers?

Dream up your ideal partner without any limits.

4. Picture your soulmate. Imagine waking up next to your ideal partner. How does this person look and act? What else do you notice?

  • How do you want to feel while spending time with your soulmate?
  • How will the two of you handle conflict?
  • How will this person support you through the inevitable challenges life brings?
  • What are this person’s values?

5. Choose the most important. Now you have a mental picture of your soulmate and a big list of his or her specific qualities, values, and interests. It’s time to condense your list to the 10 or so that you feel the most strongly about. When you’re finished, you have your very own Soulmate List.

But you’re not done yet.

6. Bring it to life. Make your list a living document. Keep it in a special folder in your desk or on a page in your journal. Review it periodically and change it as you learn more about yourself.

Even if Mr/Ms Right doesn’t show up tomorrow, at least you’ll be clear about what you want. And it could change how you view dating. Each date can become a mini-adventure where you discover another facet of your eventual soulmate.

With a Soulmate List you’ll never waste time on a date again; instead, everything becomes an exciting learning experience. And who knows? If you bring the same intention to your dating as you do to creating your Soulmate List, you might bump into The One sooner than you think. See how you can manifest your soulmate.

[photo: via Bethen Phillips on flickr]

About the Author:


Welcome to MeetMindful, the first online dating site to serve the mindful lifestyle. If you are ready to meet other singles who value healthy living, personal development, sustainability, spirituality, yoga, meditation, self-awareness, authentic connections and more, you've come to the right place. When you become a member of MeetMindful, you will get access to like-minded singles, hand-picked local events, plus life-changing conscious dating and love advice from nationally recognized relationship experts. Why? Because we love you.


Join our Mindful Movement!


Sign up today, and we'll share bi-weekly Mindful Moments, full of helpful tips, tactics, and content to improve your life!


"Without a doubt, the most engaging written piece on mindfulness!"

- a Mindful Moment Subscriber


(We'll never sell or share your information, either.)

You have Successfully Subscribed!