From the moment you meet, you want to know; but how can we ever be certain? Sara Crolick reflects on what love looks like and how to know if he’s “The One.”
Editor’s Note: “The One” can be a he or a she; but to keep my editorial brain from spinning, I’ve written from my personal experience. My “One” happens to be a mister.
“The One”—an elusive, dangerous idea. An enigma we convince ourselves of, an act of faith that can burn us from the inside out when we’ve trusted our inner compass too soon. Because sometimes we rush forward, so long as we’re moving in a direction. Sometimes, when the needle finally settles, we find he isn’t our ‘North’ after all.
In those moments, our sense of truth becomes hindered; we find ourselves recoiling from the commitment, convinced our steps will never know sure-footed direction again.
But “The One” isn’t a fable; he isn’t a mythological force. He doesn’t exist in the deepest recesses of our imagination alone.
He’s as influential as the moon; as constant as the sun. He lives and breathes in this world—this literal, physical place—and if you listen and trust and try, you’ll stumble into his arms and never lose your footing again.
When you’ve found him, you’ll know. Deep in the pit of your stomach, where your deepest, intuitive thoughts are birthed, you’ll know. He’ll become a permanent fixture there, a grounding force that leads you again and again to home.
You’ll know he’s “The One” when your life has been compromised, forever changed. This newness will be alien and awkward, but delightful and inspiring too. You’ll fumble through sentences that never quite articulate the bliss that surges beneath your skin, but you’ll also feel more “you” than you’ve ever known yourself to be.
“The One” will light up your most-authentic self. He’ll breathe life into dormant pockets of power and quell the fires of self-doubt. You’ll rediscover the pieces of you that are magnificent. He’ll bring your beauty—your unique, unadulterated beauty—into focus and you’ll gasp at the sight.
You’ll grow and have the energy to grow more; you’ll love with a brave heart. You’ll risk everything, even heartache, to walk hand-in-hand with this man.
Because “The One” will challenge everything you’ve ever believed about love and marriage and human connection.
He’ll bend preconceived ideas about what love looks like. He’ll be the most beautiful sight you’ve ever laid your eyes on, you’ll devour every delicious ‘flaw’ and smile in disbelief that this is the man you call yours.
He’ll transform your definition of trust; because never before were you able to trust so effortlessly, so purely. And never-before did you know such unyielding commitment to another heart.
You’ll see the world through a new set of eyes. You’ll find yourself thinking, I can’t wait to tell him about this. And when you do finally see him, you’ll be so wrapped up in the moment you’ll forget you ever had anything to say.
There will be a feeling of falling, but this isn’t a passive event. You’ll fall together, you’ll fall deep into the earth where you’ll send out roots—a foundation—of love, before you rise together, stronger than either of you could manage alone. And you’ll move to the sky with outstretched arms and the whole world will spin around you, through your fingers. You’ll feel alive. You’ll see that with stability comes a special kind of freedom.
With this man by your side, you have a chance to evolve in ways you never could without this mirror. He will shine light on your injuries, the ones you’d just as easily keep hidden from the world. You’ll see pieces of your past break the surface of your today and you’ll face them; because things have changed. You have changed. Love has entered a sacred space in your heart.
He’s your north star. He’s safety. He’s home.
And when your head falls on your pillow, you’ll drift steadily toward sleep. The events of the day, the wishes for tomorrow, they’ll fade in and out, swaying delicately between wakefulness and slumber. The final face you’ll see will be his, and the night will know that yes, now it’s safe to carry you off to sleep.