As an introvert in an extroverted world, you may have reservations about your awesomeness. We’re here to share why introverts are straight-up irresistible.
Do you think you are an introvert?
Most people think that would mean you are socially quiet and withdrawn, but the actual definition is you are someone who recharges his or her energy in solitude, while an extrovert is he or she who replenishes energy with spirited interchange with others.
In our culture, it’s easy for extroverts to get the spotlight and be perceived as likable and attractive; but if you’re not someone who loves to plunge into a crowd and start talking, here are some reasons people will see you shine (even if your shine is not a blinding spotlight!)
Let’s get started.
Your Curiosity Is Attractive
One quality that comes effortlessly to introverted people is a natural tendency to be curious about the world, themselves, and people.
That is why introverts tend to read more and explore the world via fiction, biographies or nonfiction.
Through books (and film) your mind gets to fill with a wide breadth of knowledge and insights.
This same intensity of curiosity can be brought to conversation and interactions with others.
If you are naturally shy, and if you need to, visualize the person in front of you to be a fictional character come to life; get inquisitive the way you would deep in a novel. Get curious about their life choices, their passions, and dreams rather than skating on the surface with small talk.
People generally like to be seen as interesting or special, and you might find they are only too happy to share. And share… and share.
Your Observational Skills Are Attractive
Have you ever sat down at a local cafe or park bench and simply enjoyed people-watching?
People-watching can be fantastic “hobby” for introverts. They naturally like observing their surroundings so they can become comfortable as well as pick up on how people operate, and all their subtleties.
And those lessons help introverts navigate actual relationships. The more you know about human nature—say, about body language, for example—the more insight you’ll have to people when you’re in their company.
If you enjoy people-watching and find it instructive, don’t miss out on the entertainment of turning that watchful lens into a mirror on yourself. Watch your own body language as well as your feelings and thoughts as they arise.
Then use this data to change any behaviors that might serve you better, socially or in business.
Your Reticent Mysteriousness Is Attractive
Because of introverts’ natural tendency to devour books and observe others, they often develop an especially reflective and rich inner world.
Have you ever gazed at someone who seems lost in thought and wondered to yourself, “I wonder what they’re thinking?”
Chances are if you see someone that, they are very much like you. Introverts tend to digest things thoughtfully and deeply rather than flitting on to the next subject to get a laugh or keep the energy “up.”
So that person lost in thought may have a lot in common with you, even if you know nothing about them yet.
And you, you might think that your quiet mysterious nature is off-putting; but in fact, your silence and your reserve just might be that mysterious quality that an extrovert finds irresistible. Your quiet may be just the attractive magnet that leads an extrovert to introduce him or herself.
So consider your thoughtful nature to be an attractive quality—and own it! When they ask, “you seem mysterious, what are you thinking about?” or “you’re so quiet—you must be bored,” use the opportunity to share your inner reflections. You’ll probably startle him or her with your insights on what’s going on around both of you.
Your Relaxed Disposition Is Attractive
A great quality of many introverts have is that they’re easygoing. Unlike extroverts who may be dominating the conversation or acting the social butterfly, introverts are settled, receptive and easy to approach—especially by other introverts.
It may take some time for them to warm up to new people, but once they like and trust someone, the social switch often turns on.
Introverts underestimate how attractive they are to those who are easily intimidated by loud extroverts. In many ways, your relaxed “outsiderness” may be the thing that leads to you feeling like a trusted “insider” with new acquaintances.
Your Tempered Tongue Is Attractive
A skill—and also an attractive quality of most introverts—is that you tend to be more selective, more careful, and more judicious with your word choice.
Introverts are less likely to insult someone mistakenly in a rush of words or an attempt to entertain others, as often happens with extroverts. Introverts speak less, and take their time before speaking—especially because they are more comfortable reading books, practicing the art of reflection, and their lack of satisfaction with surface chit-chat and small talk.
Your tempered tongue tends to support more clarity of communication and fewer tossed-off quips—making you more trustable—itself an attractive quality.
Quality Over Quantity Is Attractive
A subtler quality that is harder to notice in introverts is they tend to place importance on the quality of interactions rather than the quantity.
Introverts tend to have fewer but closer friends.
And because they do not seek external social reward, they are not easily led astray or to contravene their core values.
This is one of the most attractive qualities of a trustable friend.
In our busy, talkative, distraction-laden culture, extroverts may get the most attention—but introverts, if you value your qualities and invite people into their rewards, you often get the best attention.
About the Author
Best Selling Author, Emmy-Nominated Producer, Screenwriter and Entrepreneur, Adam Gilad leads a community of over 80,000 men and women on their quest to create love and a bold, inspired life. Having served as a Stanford Humanities Center Graduate Research Fellow and host of National Lampoon Radio, Adam blends a bracing mix of research, humor and global wisdom traditions to help men and women break through the habits blocking their ability to open into love and freedom.