As humans, we complicate things—even simple things like speaking our truth. There’s one key to healthy communication, though… and it starts with love.
Anytime we communicate with someone we are entering into a relationship of sorts. Whatever the relationship—whether it is acquaintances, lovers, partners, spouses, siblings, strangers—as soon as you communicate, you have created, for however long or short a moment, a relationship.
In so saying, “communication” of any kind always takes place in relationships; it is how we, as a species interact with one another—whether written communication, verbal, or physical—it is our means of BEing together here on this wonderful planet, our Earth School.
That being said, let us, here and now, realize that communication within any type of relationship is vital, it is key to our healthy, happy, prosperous existence, and thus, regardless of the kind of relationship you have with any specific individual, what is to follow regarding communication therein, applies to ALL.
Now that we’ve got that all sorted, let us turn our attentions to communication itself.
Just as there are certain globally accepted dynamics, what we can call ‘natural laws’ of interpersonal relations with respect to our human relationships, there exist, in like kind with communication.
Regardless of which individual is doing the communicating, regardless of what is being communicated, it is vitally important that we remember: every one communicates using their very own unique language—every one! Even if using the same language, two individuals using the same words, the same expressions, for example, two English speaking individuals saying “Hello,” are still speaking their own unique language.
What means “hello” to me does not necessarily mean the same thing when you are using the word “hello,” or for that matter when receiving my “Hello.” What I am intending to express using the word “hello” may be something completely different from that which you are intending. What we say does not always translate to what we mean to communicate; in fact, what we say, what we do, how we are in general, does not always communicate our truth—or more apropos to state, is not always received as we had intended it so be.
This is one of the reasons that “patience is a virtue.”
It is imperative that we are patient with our communication—both in expressing our communications, as well as receiving the intended communications of others.
It is equally imperative that as we do either, we so do with the initial intention and received interpretation thereof, as one of love. By love, I refer to what I call “Namaste Love” —a detached love that honors the individual as a miracle of life itself, as opposed to the attached love two intimates may share.
Imagine how many times you have had a disagreement with another—a disagreement which, in the end, turned out to be no more than a misunderstanding—because someone chose to interpret or receive the communications of another as being anything but from a place of love.
This is a sad reality of our societal conditioning, in that we have all been raised in a global world that is largely based in competition and comparison instead of unity, cooperation, and Namaste Love. I mean really, what would the world’s governments do if we all chose to perceive, receive, and respond from LOVE?
There would be no wars!!!
Ahhhhhhhhh! Could you imagine the chaos for our world’s governments and banking institutions?
More importantly (and definitely more divinely), can you imagine the beauty of our Human Family?
It can be really, really, really difficult—or as I prefer to say, a huge opportunity for growth—to see another’s communications from a place of Love, when what they are saying or doing is anything but. The guy or gal you pass by on the street and (by accident) bump into along the way, who turns around and flips ya the finger; or the woman or man who pushes in front of you in the bank line; or the boss or employee who speaks in a most condescending tone…YES! It can be really, really difficult BUT—and here’s the great news—not impossible.
Let’s try this out, just for one day:
Whenever you encounter a person who is being negative, make the conscious choice to see them as a BEing of Love—a conscious choice to, if you will, to be the Earth Angel Divine you (we) authentically are, and thus consciously choose not to be affected by their negative state of being and communications toward you. Consciously choose to see them empathetically, compassionately, sympathetically, lovingly.
Do whatever it takes, make up a whole story for why they are acting in such a gross and negative way—a story that imbues you with empathy and compassion for their situation and state of being.
Go crazy with it!! Get as elaborate and creative as you are so inspired to be.
Maybe, hmmm let’s see, they just had their heart broken by a lover who dumped them; or worse, just got back from the doctor’s office and were told that they have a brain tumor. Oy! That’s horrible, isn’t it? Immediate compassion wells to the surface, n’est ce pas?
Whatever you have to do, be the angel you are just for ONE day and see what happens. Pay attention to how you feel and then, to how they react or respond.
True, some will just continue with their negativity, but some, some will truly be affected in an outwardly visible manner by your positivity and Love’s Light! Oh, what a blissing to see. What a blissing to experience. This is the power of your BEingness, the power you wield with every one, every where, all the time!
Ponder here for a moment:
Communication misunderstandings happen all the time. Some are big and some are small.
In our close, intimate relationships, even the small communication misunderstandings can—with enough repetition and lack of clarification, patience, and honesty for and with Self and other—lead to big, big, big problem, all of which are illusory.
Take one of my Angel Partners (how I refer to my wonderful clients) for example:
In this case it is two Angel Partners, a couple who have been married for 10 years, together for 20, have two beautiful children and love each other immensely. Still, even with all this history, beauty, and love, they are talking divorce.
Well, she has been waiting for him to profess how great he thinks she is, how much he loves her and wants to be with her, and to so do of his volition, but also in ways that she resonates with. As it turns out, he has been waiting for her to do the same.
Waiting, not communicating—not truthfully, anyways.
A perfect example to which I speak above:
Husband to Wife: Honey the boys called, they’re playing baseball tonight, do you want me to stay home?”
Wife to Husband: No, honey, it’s okay, you go out and play with the boys.”
In truth, she was waiting for him [for years] to say, “Honey, the boys called, they wanna play baseball tonight, but there’s no where I’d rather be than with you!” and all he was waiting for her to say was, “Honey, I know the boys are playing tonight, but I’d really rather play with you tonight.”
Year after year after year, each was waiting for the other to be honest with their authentic feelings and communicate truthfully, until one day, they both ‘woke up’ and realized that all these years have passed by, all these opportunities to be honest and communicate authentically had slipped away, and what was left was an overwhelming feeling of loneliness, sadness, and regret.
This is not necessary.
Even if you have not been communicating effectively—which means truthfully and patiently, compassionately, empathetically, and lovingly, for years yourself—it is never too late. You can start right now, begin today, speak your truth; for in truth, all anyone wants is love, happiness, and to feel good.
Sure, there will be issues, things that are not necessarily as easy to say as other things—like when we are irritated by the noise someone makes when they are eating for example (to give a very minuscule example of an “issue”); however, when approached from, through, within love, anything can be communicated effectively so it is received appropriately and lovingly.
Take our minuscule example—when communicating your irritation over another’s noisy eating. When coming from a place of Namaste Love, we first assume responsibility over the irritation we feel. We accept our ability to choose how we respond in any situation. Thus, when we communicate our irritation, we do so assuming full responsibility not only for the irritation, but for our choosing to be irritated. Thus, we are not telling the other of their irritating behavior, but asking for their assistance in healing our own.
Ah, yes… I hear you, who communicates like that? Well, that’s why we are all here on this site together, n’est ce pas? Way-shower-ers in the inevitable evolution of our species, for which language and our modalities of communication are key; especially when the evolution we are flowing upon is, in this author’s humble opinion, for our generation/era, one of Consciousness.
It is also where patience comes into play.
Think before you speak or act.
Think about what it is you want to say or do, why you want to say or do it, and then how you can best so do. It’s a matter of an extra few seconds or yes, sometimes, even minutes, but it can make the difference of an entire relationship, and thus lifetime.
Aren’t you worth a few extra seconds or minutes?
Start slowly with a one day experiment, and then moment to moment, day by day—baby step—just like when we all learned how to walk for the first time, it didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen. We have a lot of reprogramming to do, however, we can do anything.
Together, we can live life as intended to be—communicating effectively, openly, and lovingly, and being the one Human Family of Love’s Light, we authentically are.
About the Author
As an Intuitive Mystic and Empathic Holistic Healer, Rhonda Sheryl Lipstein, commonly known as Roni to many, has consciously dedicated the last two decades of her life to imbuing all those so seeking with the gift of Love Consciousness. Roni is the Founding Partner of Sanctuaire Soul’s Sanctuary, through which she provides Whole-istic Life Guidance Therapy internationally, in addition to hosting two shows on Being Love T.V., and authoring the “Radiate Soul Light” Series; “The Gardens of Life; Your Journey to Radiate Soul Light” and its Activity Guidebook Series, “Serenity Through Soul.” You can learn more about Roni, and book your own personal journey with her through her website: RhondaSherylLipstein.com