in: Dating & Relationships

What I Learned After My Tinder One Night Stand

Krystal Baugher

Smart phone: Check. Sexual desire: Check. Krystal Baugher enlightens us on the world of Tinder, ordering men like pizza and one night stands. Sounds delish.


Recent stats reveal the dating app, Tinder, has more than 50 million users each month and has more than 1 billion “swipes” per day, leading to 12 million introductions.

I was recently one of those million.

For anyone that has been living off the grid for the past year, Tinder is the easiest way for people to find other people in which to engage in no-strings-attached romances. The founder of Tinder has said people can do “whatever” they want when they meet up, but in Tinder’s case “whatever” basically means sex.

The concept is simple. People build a profile with up to six pictures and a 500 character limit bio, then they set their preferences. They select the gender they’re interested in, the preferred age range and the search distance from 1-98 miles (because would anyone really drive more than 100 miles for a hook-up?). After preferences are set, the game begins. You look at pictures of other people and swipe right if you’re into them and left if you’re not.

I joined in the spring of this year and have played with it sporadically ever since. I’ve matched with over 200 guys and out of those 200, I’ve had conversations with maybe 30 percent of them. They usually go something like:

Him-“hey”

Me-“hello”

Him-“you have beautiful eyes”

Me-“I know”

The end.

Tinder is the place for the saddest, dullest conversations. It’s like it’s acceptable there because the information on the other person is so limited that there’s not much more to go on. If you already know that the other person thinks you’re cute, then it’s not that big of a deal to intro with a simple, “hi.” What ends up happening though, is the conversations drop off at a moment’s notice. It’s worse than talking to someone in a bar because at least have to exit the bar (gracefully or not), but when the Tinder convo stops, it may or may not pick back up again. It can be days or weeks later as if no time has passed and the people were never flaky or distracted.

From the 30 percent I have had convos with, I have met a total of three in real life. The first two were actual dates where we met in a public place, had a drink and a chat.

But then one night I was incredibly bored. My roommate and I had gone to the bars (which had been low in the men-to-flirt-with category) so I started “tindering” at two in the morning. I matched with a guy named Jason, he was 35 and new to Denver.

That’s about as much as I got from the bio.

There was a pic of him competing in a mud run, so I knew he was fit and that he had super buff arms, which for some reason I’m really into. “Good enough,” I thought. And within 30 minutes he was at my door.

It was sort of like getting a pizza delivered. I made a selection and he arrived ready to give me pleasure (with much fewer calories to consume and no money out of my pocket).

This is what I learned.

There is something quite gratifying and something quite odd about having sex with someone you know basically nothing about.

Many people I’ve talked to say they can’t do it, but with 12 million interactions happening on Tinder daily, there’s definitely a few that can (even if they aren’t so quick to admit it).

Was it the best sex of my life?

No.

Was it the worst sex of my life?

No.

Did I get off?

Twice.

Ta-Da! Magic.

The gratifying part about hooking up with a random is that there are no expectations. I can orgasm easier because it doesn’t matter whether I do or not. We are there solely for the sex. We both know it. It’s not more or less than that so that’s what our focus is about. It’s not about achieving a deeper connection. It’s not about doing it out of passion or love. It just is what it is. No facades.

The odd part was mostly mental, like sure I might have been after a purely physical connection, but my brain unfortunately didn’t completely shut off. I had to overcome the awkwardness of getting intimate with someone for basically no reason. After that weird beginning (like how do you really begin that anyway) the mind cleared and I just went with it.

In the end, Tinder gave me the opportunity to easily get what I was seeking in the universe at that time. Sure having a committed, loyal and mindful significant other is a long-term goal, but sometimes a girl just needs to get laid. And there’s nothing wrong with taking the easiest route to do it.

[image via Global Panorama on flickr]

About the Author:

Krystal Baugher Krystal Baugher

Krystal Baugherlives in Denver, Colorado. She is the founder of Go Eat a Carrot, a website dedicated to exploring the worlds of pleasure and politics. Find her on Instagram to stay up to date with all of her shenanigans.

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