in: Dating & Relationships

How to Make Valentine’s Day About LOVE (Not Stuff)

Step away from the teddy bear and hear us out first. There’s a way to reclaim February 14th. Here’s how to make Valentine’s Day about LOVE. (Yes, really!)

If there was ever a celebration that exudes the notion of love, it is Valentine’s Day. We can think about the reasons why we choose to give chocolate, roses, diamonds, dinners, and all those other fancy things to our partner, yet the real significance behind February 14th is to focus on LOVE and why, who, and how we can keep our hearts open to our chosen beloved (or a certain someone who is still in the picture and we are in the midst of repairing the ties that bind.)

The adoration for another person takes showing up fully for the relationship; and not just in the sense of the occasional phone call or text, with zero thought or emotions behind either. Being involved and in love is a commitment that surpasses most, so let’s share the goodies before Valentine’s Day, during the entire 24 hours, and a little afterglow for the remainder of the month.

Sure, buying gifts and sharing some trinkets and edibles and aromatic flora is a wondrous and welcomed surprise, but take it a step further.

The next phase on this special day is a declaration from the depths of your heart. Be romantic. Do things with and for each other that will nurture lasting memories for years to come. Wisk each other away for a day (or two) to somewhere that has meaning for both of you. Change up the usual routine of how you relate to your one and only and create something inspiring—either with your own two hands, or soliciting the work of a professional in any kind of artistic endeavor.

There are so many options that scream “love” and the ability to go above and beyond.

I remember always hoping and praying that Valentine’s was never a grandiose gesture from my significant. I loved the sentiment; however, lavish gifts and baubles somewhat embarrassed me. I never felt that was a pertinent meaning of love. The dinners were nice, the chocolates were to die for, but something was amiss with anything else.

What I was craving was a mutual understanding that Valentine’s Day is about lovehow we love, who we love, and why we love. The rest of the material items can be eliminated. I appreciate words on paper as well. Not the traditional Hallmark card with already-encrypted language, but the kind that speaks directly from the heart of the giver. The type of *card* that shows a uniqueness in how one communicates love and emotion and romance on paper.

The creative energy put into action—that’s what I admire on this special day.

Cooking together is also romantic and sexy to me. There never has to be simply one person doing all of the giving; it’s a joint effort, and can be oozing with love.

This calendar day that has couples and relationships scrambling from one end of the city to the next in search of that perfect something can relax. If there is love, there is hope. If there is hope, there is heart. If there is heart, then all else is purposeful and affectionate. To circle the special day with redness is a symbol of our beating tickers and their outward resonation. Love means to be open and alive with what’s inside our chests.

Here are some simple, straightforward questions to ask yourself before you make the plunge of giving to your person:

  1. Does the message behind the action reveal who I am, or is it helping reveal who the other is?
  2. With love as the guiding energy, am I showing up for my significant other in a way that will benefit his or her heart?
  3. Is the amount of money spent truly worthwhile, or would it be more meaningful and memorable if I created something with my own two hands?
  4. Can February 14th last all month and year, and will however we celebrate be etched on our hearts forever?
  5. What is the ultimate beauty shared in our union—and if it’s deep abiding love, how can we go a step further to make more of an impact on this world, using this Valentine’s Day as the 24 hours to make that our mission? (This is a true soulful question.)

Now that we have all the necessary tools to make this the most epic-hearted day of 2016, let’s all choose deep affection, fondness, and endearment as the strength that carries us together while keeping the words “I love you” on the tips of our tongues.

About the Author:

Gerry Ellen

Gerry Ellen is an author, creative storyteller, and wellness advocate. She enjoys sharing her experiences of life, love, and all things meaningful and healthy through words and images. She is a regular contributor to MeetMindful, Be You Media Group, Tattooed Buddha, and Rebelle Society. As a former featured columnist on elephant journal and Light Workers World, she considers her love of nature and the outdoors, heart-centered connections, friends and family, and traveling to explore and expand as the epicenter of her world. She is extremely driven with her service work through 8 Paws Wellness with her dog, Scout. Gerry Ellen has authored and published two books, Ripple Effects (March 2012) and A Big Piece of Driftwood (April 2014), which are both available on


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