Mindful Moment #21 - Filling The Well

Filling The Well

I once had a professor who I unabashedly had a crush on. It was in grad school. I was kind of older, he was kind of younger (and very single, as was I). He had this magnetism about him. I had no intentions of breaching any ethical boundaries while I was taking his class, but I got that schoolgirl “stomach flip” whenever I saw him. And in the way that small college towns are, I soon realized where he lived. It was on my way to school, so I drove past it nearly every day. One such day, I gazed up at his place and his hands were sticking out of an open window. My stomach dutifully flipped (at just the sight of his hands? dang, I had it bad), and I could just envision him leaning back in a recliner with his hands over his head, probably watching a baseball game or something. The sun was bright. I was listening to Nat King Cole’s “Orange Colored Sky” in my car with the sunroof open. Fall was coming, so the Texas midday wasn’t unbearable. And it was just a moment of joy and hope and ridiculous happiness that clearly still lives in my brain.

I think about that professor sometimes and wonder what he’s doing these days. He was so funny and kind in ways that I had rarely seen from a man. One thing in particular that he said has stayed with me (beyond his hands sticking out a window) like 20 years later. I had to meet him during office hours and one of the other professors had their toddler daughter in an adjoining office. The little girl was playing peek-a-boo with my professor, and he was saying “Where’s the most beautiful girl in the world?” She’d peek around, and he’d say, “There she is!” And she screamed with giggles and did it again and again. It was adorable. After the mom scooped up her daughter, he said to me, “It costs nothing to be kind, right?”
“Right,” I had said, my heart kind of exploding. I don’t remember a scrap of anything else from his class except that moment in his office and agreeing that of course kindness is free to give. I heard “Orange Colored Sky” last week, and it took me down this rabbit hole of remembering. Nat King Cole’s velvety voice feels like a warm blanket to me, and the whole joy of the memory and my silly schoolgirl crush on a kind man was buoyant to my spirits. I realized that memory is a moment of joy I have saved to savor and use to fill my well.

The well is an image I sometimes use to gauge my own ability to interact with the world. Some people may relate to this idea as source energy or chi, but this is more about having the mental and emotional capacity to share positivity with other souls. I literally imagine a well inside of me, and in it is something like liquid sunshine that I can dip out with a ladle and give to whomever I want. It is joy, it is contentment, it is surprise, it is that crush-rush stomach flip, it is love, it is all things bright. When I experience those things, my well gets filled up.

Remembering moments of happiness can do it, listening to my favorite music can do it, dancing can do it, and watching other people experience joy can also give me a surplus of joy to fill up the well. And just like kindness, since I have this wellspring inside of me, I can give it away as I so choose, because it costs nothing, and it is eternally refillable.

The thing is, though, the well needs to be tended. By me. It is absolutely possible to give away so much of my energy and joy that it needs time to regenerate. I need to renew my well with intention so that I can fill it to the brim, carry it with me into tomorrow, AND have surplus to share.

Of course, you know I am going to propose that we tend to our wells with a quick meditation.

Sit down. Drop your shoulders. Relax your jaw. Take some deep breaths. Close your eyes.

First, I want you to let your mind wander to a moment in your past that makes you smile. What do you see in your mind when you think back to this experience? What does it smell like? What can you hear? Who was there? Can you taste anything?

Allow yourself to dwell in that moment, feeling what you felt, and enjoying yourself.

Now, I want you to imagine the happiness you are feeling being transformed into something tangible. Maybe it becomes a dewy mist that cools your face and refreshes your skin. Maybe it looks like coins you can put in your pocket. Maybe it looks like cotton candy that melts on your tongue. Maybe it turns into snowflakes or rose petals or gemstones or anything you find delightful.

I want you to imagine a container that exists somewhere within your body. Either in your heart or mind or solar plexus. It can be a well, a brilliant bowl, a ginger jar, a piggybank–just anything you like. Now imagine that container slowly filling up with your happiness. It is going to be there absorbing joyfulness and converting it into your personal stores of joy.

Imagine that you can extract some happiness from your container. Not only does extracting it make you feel happy, but it can make others happy when you share it. For now, let’s imagine giving a hug to your favorite person. When you hug them, imagine giving them some of this joy. In kind, pay attention to any joy they may be sending back to you.

Sit with this contentedness for as long as you like.

May your wells ever be full, my friends.

Namaste,
Amy

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