Ready for that soulmate connection? Before you can decide if you’re ready for your soulmate, let’s examine all the ways a soulmate can show up in our lives.
In short, the answer is: you’re always ready.
But that raises the question: what is the definition of a soulmate?
The common perception of a soulmate is a person who is the love of your life, a beloved. That’s true, but not how you’d think. The truth is, we have many soulmates in a life time. They are people with whom we have previous life experience and spiritual connection. Re-connecting with them is an experience unlike any other. Sometimes it’s an instant emotional reaction to someone upon meeting them, while others, it’s a subtle knowing or familiarity with a person you’ve not met before.
Soulmate relationship’s aren’t always loving, happy-go-lucky, live happily ever after experience’s for everyone. In fact, most often, the connection brings two people back together to heal a dynamic left incomplete. Not necessarily incomplete between the two people coming together, but the attraction of two people with intersecting life patterns.
What’s the reason you’re always ready, you ask? Well, we attract the partners we need into our lives when we’re ready to transform or develop the spiritual patterns we have in common with those we attract. “For every lock there is a key”* is the principal at work here, and during your lifetime you’ll have many relationships with locks and keys.
Everyone has a soul group. They are people who we have connection to and an affinity with and who may appear in our lives just in time to give us support, teach us a lesson, or love us unconditionally. They are the souls with whom we share our eternity.
The most important thing to consider as you contemplate your soulmates? It takes cultivated, unconditional love to be a soulmate. These spiritual beings love you so much they come back to play a role in your life as you do the same for others—so, no matter the timbre of the relationship, a soulmate deserves respect and honor.
Below is a list of the many types of soulmate relationships you can have.
Allies are often people we cross paths with whom we may or may not cultivate lasting relationships. When we are connected with them, they will stand with us, giving loving support and guidance.
“I’d just moved to Los Angeles and was driving home one Friday evening when my car stalled on the freeway. Luckily, I was near an exit and rolled off as the smoke from my engine drifted upwards. Two guys saw what was happening and pushed my vehicle into a parking lot where many young folks had begun their Friday night hang. I got out of my car to use the pay phone when a few crackheads (a woman with two men standing behind her) backed me up against the wall and began to shout at me, calling me names and saying they were going to hurt me.
Literally, the group gathering in the parking lot of around fifty people started to gravitate toward us to watch the commotion, when finally, a young woman stepped out of the laundromat next door. She was an imposing woman, about eight months pregnant, but probably wasn’t a day over twenty-two. Evidently she knew the crackheads by name and when the crowd parted to let her through, she told them to stop…and they did. Whew, it’s in my memory as if it were yesterday. The woman’s name was Gloria and after I thanked her, she suggested I get a tow truck and leave as quickly as possible. Which I did. Gloria was quite an ally that night. I never saw her again, yet she is woven into the fabric of my personal history.” **
Enemies are the karmic relationships that are profoundly vital to our education and learning of the boundaries of the human spirit. They are the soulmates who come into our lives to show us adversity and compassion. Often, when we first meet these people, we like them—but something just doesn’t sit right. Our enemies offer an opportunity to learn to trust our instincts. They don’t appear to have our best interest at heart and require us to, at times, be self-sufficient. But in truth: it is our enemies who help us decide who we are and who we want to be.
“My last year in New York City was quite tumultuous. I lived in one of the many gentrifying neighborhoods that had previously been in an extreme state of dilapidation. As people moved in and started rebuilding, so did the criminals.
Every night I’d come home in a cab between 1-4 a.m. Waiting for me was a particular group of thugs who found it entertaining to chase me into my building. Literally, they would see my cab round the corner on the one-way street and start running. Knowing this was the probability, I would’ve already paid the driver by 84th Street and be ready to run like the wind, into the building, up three flights of stairs and into my apartment, locking the door behind me.
One night, the kid gained such time on me that I’d barely made it half way up the first flight of stairs before he was pounding on the entry door. I got upstairs and realized I was missing my beautiful Kelly Green and Black Plaid Mohair scarf that I just adored. It was my all-time favorite thrift store find and I just loved it. As I looked down on the street from the window of my apartment: there it lay in the middle of the street. Oh well, I thought.” **
Lovers are the men and women who come into our lives to give us love and encouragement for a time. We attract lovers who give us emotional nourishment, even if we inevitably outgrow the source. The attraction we have with a karmic lover can be intense and is usually evidence of the healing on its way to us through this powerful soulmate relationship.
“I had a relationship with a lover who I really liked and had such an intense attraction to. Even when it became evident that he wasn’t a very good person. I spent time with him periodically over three or four months until one night while I was with him I had a flash back of the rape I’d experienced a few years before. Of course I plummeted into a deep grief response and as I did he held me and reminded me of the strength, value, and love I carried inside me. And, although we didn’t remain lovers or friends, I was always grateful for his compassion in that experience.” **
The good friends we cultivate over our lifetime are often people from our soul group with whom we experience comfort, love, and trust enough to sustain enduring relationships. They are the people with whom we can work through conflict and transcend adversity, laughing all the way. They are the soulmates who teach us to learn unconditional love, communication, and inspire us (and require us) to be better.
I have cultivated many friendships over my lifetime and the one concurrent theme within all of them is laughter. It seems to be the ultimate antidote to any confusion, conflict, or disappointment. It’s nice to enjoy relationships when everything is peachy, but when the chips are down and you’re surrounded by folks who can make you laugh? Well, that is pure gold.
Beloveds are the husbands and wives we choose and the families we are born to. These soulmate relationships can be our biggest teachers. Everyone contends with expectations in a relationship, but it is a unique experience to transcend or transform the unconscious expectations of a karmic beloved. The coming-together with another based on all the love that had been present in the previous life together but, in truth, may not be present in the same way now.
Believe it or not, it’s rare for people to come into a lifetime to be together in the same type of relationship as their soul’s may have experienced before. Where’s the fun or learning in that? The intense connection and deep-seeded love we share with our beloveds are based in the requirement of a long term relationship to unveil and express the teaching or healing over time.
“The goal of all of these soulmate relationships is to cultivate love on every level. Love unconditional, love with boundaries, and ultimately unshakable love of ourselves and the creator. They are the faith-builders that give us our life’s blood. So, next time you cross paths with a soulmate, fortify yourself with love, kindness, and most of all forgiveness, and jump in with confidence knowing the greatest outcome is illumination.” **
- *The Demon Slayer’s Handbook: A Practical Guide to Mastering Your Inner World, Book One
- **The Demon Slayer’s Handbook: A Practical Guide to Karmic Relationships, Book Three