Do you have a streak of first-dates-gone-wrong? There are some clear cut ways you might being ruining your blind date. Let’s ditch these mistakes, shall we?
Thanks to the popularity of online dating sites, and the fact that we all have that one friend who wants to set us up, blind dates are more common now than they’ve ever been. If you play your cards right, your first blind date can lead to a second date or at the very least a casual friendship.
Unfortunately, if you give the wrong impression, you’re sunk. Very few people are willing to revisit a blind date once things go south. Even worse, you probably aren’t going to receive helpful feedback from the person who has rejected you. If you continually deal with rejection after blind dates, there is a good chance that you have picked up a few bad habits. Why not take a moment to review our list and see if you are guilty of any of these first date felonies?
1. Constantly Checking Your Phone
Put it on silent and toss it into your purse or pocket before you arrive at your destination. Then, don’t pull it out again until it’s time to take a picture, or to look up something that is relevant to a conversation that you are having with your date.
2. Making the Conversation Entirely About You
This is a particularly common complaint from women about blind dates with men. While you are on a date, focus on actively listening. Don’t make the mistake of thinking of the next thing you want to say while your date is talking. They will recognize your lack of interest, and be appropriately offended.
3. Bringing up Politics and Religion
These are absolute land mines on a first date. Don’t bring them up, and if you find yourself caught up in a conversation on these two topics, try to steer the conversation to something else. Here are a few ideas if you get stuck. If you cannot do so, remember to be polite and diplomatic.
4. Lying on Your Profile
Don’t do this. You will get caught. You may get more responses to your profile if you post a 10-year old picture that depicts you 20 pounds lighter, but you will lose any chance of a second date.
Just be honest; after all, don’t you want to date somebody who cannot accept you as you are? Of course you shouldn’t lie about other things either. Whether you claim to be an honor student at an Ivy League school, or to hold an executive position at a major corporation, you will be found out eventually.
5. Being Rude to People who Serve You
First, there is no excuse to do this ever. Second, if you do this on a blind date, you won’t be asked out a second time. This is a major turn off. It won’t matter how kind and accommodating you are with your date.
Remember this golden rule of social interaction: People who are nice to you, but rude to the server are not nice people. Don’t be that person.
6. Pressuring Your Date for Physical Affection or to Come Home with You
A blind date is no guarantee the other person will be interested in pursuing anything after the date is over. Take “no” for an answer the first time it is given. Don’t ask for explanations, don’t beg, and don’t intimate that you believe you are entitled. You aren’t—even if you paid, even if you did all the planning. Your date will appreciate that you respect their boundaries.
7. Showing Up Under Dressed
Spend five minutes researching your destination. You don’t want to show up in shorts and a tank top when everybody else is wearing a collared shirt. Also, if you are tempted to under dress to feign a casual lack of interest, or because you think it’s rebellious, just stop. The only thing you will succeed in communicating is disrespect for your date.
8. Spending Too Much Time Talking About Work
Unless you do something really fascinating at your job or you and your date work in the same field, it is best to keep shop talk to a minimum. You are better off speaking about common interests that you and your date share, than risking boring them with complaints about your boss or talking about your latest project.
This is a tricky one. Chronic complainers often don’t realize that they have a problem. If you have been told at home or in the workplace that you bring people down with your complaining, make a dedicated effort to be positive during your date. This doesn’t mean you should be phony. It just means that every negative thought that pops into your head doesn’t need to exit through your mouth.
[image: via ansel edwards photography on flickr]