Foreplay can begin long before you’re twisting sheets. Crank the heat way up and start sexy time with sexy messages… we’ve got five to start you off.

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Authenticity is where hotness thrives. It’s where shallowness and masks and selfish intentions are piled high and burned to ash. It’s a precious thing. The most, if you ask me.

The busy monotony and practicalities of our lives can get in the way of burning with that special someone. It’s a shame. There’s work and kids and laundry and pets and bills and eating and friends and flossing and sleep and exercise and school and splitting atoms and, and, and….

Before you know it: WHERE’S THE HOTNESS? DEAR ANGSTY TEEN JEBUS WHERE HAS THE SEXY HOTNESS GONE?

You have the power to light his loins ablaze from anywhere on the planet.

Busy be damned. Distance be conquered. You can still light fires. Technology has handed the perfect fuel to stoke flames, baby. Draw your phone and wield it. You have the power to light his loins ablaze from anywhere on the planet. Do it.

You won’t regret it. Or maybe you will. Surely in a good way. Surely.

Here’s the best part: There are no perfect phrases, there’s no definitive list. WE ARE BETTER THAN RULES, PEOPLE.

Men come in a cornucopia of flavors, even though mother culture whispers to us otherwise. Every man is a hairy snowflake. So for the love of Coffee and Bacon and Louis C.K., don’t put Baby in the corner. Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

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Above all, be genuine:

Don’t just say, “I’m so horny” if you aren’t. Don’t say, “I’m thinking about you touching me” if you’re not. Think it, picture it, feel it…really feel it until your mind is a licking flame of arousal. Otherwise it’s like faking an orgasm. You are not just passing words to your man, you are passing energy to him … and that’s some powerful shit.

Be aggressively explicit:

Tell him exactly what you are going to do to him the next time you two are together. Don’t ask. TELL. The more details, the better. You’ll be hot and bothered and he’ll be putty in your hands. Well, at least initially.

Send that dude a hot picture:

Yeah, it’s scary. Maybe you are uncomfortable with a hawt photo of you released into the wild. There’s a solution, one that may even be hotter. Send him an artsy erotic photo from the Internets. You know, the black and white ones. Pick one you know he will like.

Better yet, pick the one with a position you like. Add a comment like, “THIS. Tonight.”

He’ll eat it up. He’ll flirt back. Then when you are finally in the flesh together, clothes will explode off. Enjoy.

The day-long flirt:

Just like in the movie Field of Dreams, “If you build it, they will come.” It might take some practice, but the slow building of flirts throughout the day will show him that he is always on your mind no matter what you are doing. He’ll crave your touch until your next sexual rendezvous. You’re welcome!

Hot doesn’t have to mean sexual:

Being appreciated is horribly sexy. So try something like, “This morning when you did such-and-such I was reminded of how grateful I am that you are in my life” or “When I think of the man you are and what you bring to this world I want to devour you.”

To know a woman thinks you rise to the challenge of manhood in a way that makes them grateful is soooo hot. Arousing texts don’t have to be about certain body parts smashing together … ping as if his whole being is erotic and connected.

NOW, GO AND BE HOT TO EACH OTHER.

 

This article was originally published with the Good Men Project; republished with the kindest permission.

[image: via shutterstock]

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About the Author

Cabot O’Callaghan is a writer. He says it just took half his life to accept the fact. He quit his 24 year “career” so he could dig in a cursed land, placing the bones he finds on display. Most of them are his own. A disciple of all things authentic, especially if they come from dark places, Cabot would rather bleed in public because he knows we are more alike than unlike. Apparently he is also a smoldering romantic and he’s just as surprised as you to discover that. His overly personal wordletting can be found at cabotocallaghan.com. You can also connect with Cabot on Twitter and Facebook.