Predicament: I want to find love (which might require me to lower my standards), but I don’t want to settle for anything short of amazing. What to do?
How do you lower your standards but avoid settling? My friends tell me my standards are too high, which is why I am still single, but I don’t want to date someone just to avoid being alone. There has to be a middle ground.
Just the idea of lowering your standards still keeps you superior and them inferior… not so sexy, yes?
Yet, having unrealistic expectations isn’t going to get you a partner. I often find that it’s a protection mechanism to never risk, never truly be seen, never open and never risk rejection.
Also I’ve found that people who are perfectionists themselves, hold others to high standards… yet it’s a reflection of the judgment they have of themselves not being enough. They’ve learned to value themselves based on external accomplishments, not intrinsic value on the inside from simply being a child of God.
Lastly, I have discovered and I teach my clients to discover what my deal breakers are… I have a HUGE list of preferences… yet only three deal breakers. I require 1.) a protector that makes me feel safe, 2.) sacred, erotic, nourishing sex, and 3.) he thinks what I do in the world is super cool. Once those are met, my son needs to dig him and he digs my son. Then… game on.
I would love a 6’5” underwear model who is a multimillionaire with no baggage who brings me coffee each morning… ha! Yet, that’s not required. Get it?
Perfectionism pushes love away. If this is actually the deep reason you don’t want to settle, but you also don’t want to be alone, I can help. I work with single and divorced men and women who struggle trusting after a harsh breakup; yet what they really want is a hot, healthy, intimate, long-term relationship.
I heal their hearts, which makes them magnetic to deep love, while heightening their discernment—which makes them feel safe in their body, able to trust themselves and thus succeed in love.
If you think you may be a fit for my program, email [email protected] and say MeetMindful sent me. Let’s set up a time to connect. Every night you’re alone is another night where the love that you are goes unmet… I’m here.
Great love and endless blessings, Allana xoox
[image: via shutterstock]